Do you suppose she used deep conditioner, too?

Ava is in Albuquerque again. By herself. Without me to take care of her. Or drive her around.

I know you’re all thinking that Ava is a grown woman and she can take care of herself and that would be true. But she doesn’t want to. And can you blame her really? If I was around to make sure you got to where you needed to be and such, wouldn’t you prefer that?

So she’s in Albuquerque pissing and moaning and Kelli and I are here pissing and moaning. We’re not all pissing and moaning about the same things, so you can see it’s much better if we’re not separated because then we piss and moan to each other and leave other people out of it.

It’s really best for all involved – humanity as a whole – if we just stay together.

This was the text I got from her on Monday:

Just so you can laugh at my expense, somehow I didn’t bring enough underwear and I’m washing it in the sink with volumizing shampoo.

So after I fell off my chair laughing and then picked myself back up, I texted back that it didn’t seem like the best plan. “Wouldn’t that make your panties bigger?” I wondered.

I guess that choice is better than say curling shampoo. Honestly, that could get painful

So today this same general theme continued and she trickled a bit more information about her misfortune.

I used my comb in the water as an agitator like the washing machine.

I didn’t fall down this time, only choked on my ice tea.

Why doesn’t she just take the rental car to Target to get new drawers, you say? You already know the answer, if you think hard enough it will come to you.

It’s because I’m not there to drive her. Sigh.