The 200 Million Dollar Kitten

Let’s just say I’m very near the end of my child-bearing years.  I’m actually looking forward to a little menopause for the obvious reason.  You always hear about a woman’s biological clock ticking and her sudden need to have a baby but you never hear about that same need rearing its ugly head when you are just about unable to physically to do it.

Really Freakin' Cute Kitten

I’m sure it has an official name or something but I like to call it the “IneedakittenorI’mgoingtodie” period of life.  Some woman report that they experience an over whelming need for a human baby.  Since I wasn’t happy giving birth the first two times, I have an over whelming urge for a furry baby – hence the kitten issue.

Just so you know, I have a perfectly good dog and a perfectly good cat.  I treat them both like the children I gave birth to, actually I treat them better because I didn’t give birth to them.  When people ask me how many children I have, I say four.  I’d really like to be able to say five.  Let people wonder if I’m catholic or mormon or crazy.

Anyway, I drive Amylynn insane about this daily.  Kind of like the way she drove me nuts over the puppy.  However, she is married to a very nice man and I’m not.  I’m married to Ed.  Ed – the man who is not, I repeat not, “going to entertain the purchase of another cost sucking living creature in our house that has to be taken care of” by him.

Did I happen to mention the $493.82 we just spent on cleaning the dog’s teeth on Tuesday?  I guess I could pick my times better for asking for a kitten.

Today’s phone conversation –

Me: I’m going to need a kitten.

Ed: Did you and Amylynn buy a lottery ticket?

What the Baby Adorable Puma will grow into - I guess that kitten's not looking so bad after all, huh, Ed?

Baby Adorable Puma

Me: What’s that have to do with the kitten we’re getting?

Ed: If you win the lottery, you can have a kitten.

Click.

Damn, how’s that for permission?  If I win the lottery, I’m getting a puma kitten and Ed will have no one to blame but his sarcastic self.