Win A Panda

So, Amylynn and I went over to Panda Express for lunch.  We have this crazy fantasy that one day we’ll show up over there and there will be an actual Panda.  A real Panda, not just those photos they have on the advertisements.

Like I always do, I ordered a Panda – pronto.  No one ever laughs at that except for Amylynn . . . I don’t know why.

While we were there, I came up with a brilliant contest for them to have.  The person who eats there the most in one year wins a Panda.  A real Panda.  Not a photo Panda.  I tried to tell the manager about this genius idea and he seemed annoyed that I was bothering him.

He didn’t seem very bright so I tried to explain my idea to the cashier.  That was even worse.  I’m not sure the cashier even spoke english.  She kept trying to hand us a purple cup.  No, no purple cup, Panda, please hand me a Panda.  I decided to leave when she mentioned the police in mandarin chinese.

Don't even lie and say you don't want one of these

Not one to give up when a Panda might be had, I tried to call the Panda Express corporate office.

Receptionist: Hello, Panda Express.

Me: Hello!  I have an idea for a brilliant contest. 

Receptionist:  I’m sorry, we don’t take brilliant unsolicited contest ideas from strangers, no matter how much money it might make us.  

Baby panda for Ava

Me: But you haven’t even heard the specifics yet!

Receptionist: Does it involve winning a Panda?

Me: In fact, it does!!!  How did you know?

Receptionist:  Are you in Desert City, AZ?

Me: Ummmmm, yes.

Receptionist:  The police are looking for you right now. 

At that point I hung up.  Stupid cashier.  

I’m still not giving up my dream of having a pet Panda but I am starting a petition to make Panda Express change it’s name – that’s false advertising since there are no Pandas – fast or otherwise.