Be Very Quiet, I’m Hiding

I would like to send a thank you out to Roscoe, The Idiot Dog.  It is because of him that our pantry is swept, mopped, and repainted.  This morning, as in most Sundays, Sassy and The Bandit were up early watching cartoons.  My Honey and I try to eek out a little more sleep before their squabbling forces us out of bed and out to our full times jobs as referrees.  In my sleepy fog, I kept hearing a loud banging.  My Honey and I sat up just as the kitchen trash can came into view with Roscoe at the helm, his head and shoulders completely inside.  Crap!  I could hear the manic strains of cartoon music coming from the living room.  When we surveyed the damage, it was not good.  There was icky kitchen trash strewn throughout the entire house: the family room, kitchen, hall, laundry room and, most annoying of all, through the living room where the kids blithely sat watching cartoons.  I suspect the banging annoyed them, but did they dare glance away from the holiest of holy television shows?  No, don’t be ridiculous.  My only consolation and defense of the Sunday morning ritual is that at least they are watching PBS. 

My absolute favorite part of the mess was a entire 1 gallon jug of apple juice that emptied out under the shelves of the pantry.  Clean up of that swampy mess entailed removing the shelves which of course entailed taking all of the food out.  The plus side, of course, will be that we will have a well ordered pantry.  I say “will be” because once the pantry was emptied and mopped, My Honey decided to paint and do a little drywall repair.  Why is that?  Why does every job have to grow exponentially larger?  If it had been entirely up to me, I’d have just boarded up the pantry and pretended like it didn’t exist. 

Anyway, Roscoe has been relegated to the back yard for infinity, or at least until this afternoon, My Honey is off to Lowe’s for supplies, my kids are being cruelly forced to clean their rooms.  And me?  I’m hiding in the office fearing that My Honey will come up with something for me to do. 

Shhhhhhh.