I wish I could say I’m from Chocolate Bayou, Texas – it would almost be worth it

Everyone stop worrying! Arizona has solved the problem once and for all. No one needs to worry anymore about where Barak Obama is from.

Aren’t you all relieved?

Thank Zeus we have put that question to rest. I’ll tell you, it really plagued my mind. I kept pondering over and over, what if Barak isn’t really from Hawaii? Well, Arizona got involved and, like always, we made the situation better. That’s what they always say about us, you know.

Whew, Arizona always brings a cool, decisive head to the game. Thank God they’re here to watch out for the rest of us.

But still, I kept thinking, what if he’s from like Tucson? That would be cool. Arizona could use a president. We almost had one, but, well, you all know how that went. But it would have been nice for the county to have finally got the spelling of our town right, once and for all.

But then I thought, maybe he’s from Hohokus, NJ cause that’s a fun place to say. Hohokus. But the people I know from New Jersey don’t like admitting they’re from NJ so I’m thinking he wouldn’t spend so much time fighting for everyone to know it.

There’s always North Dakota, but I cancelled that out real quick. There’s only like five people from North Dakota and four of them are carved on that mountain.

He could have been from Missouri, but then I’ve never heard him say all those stupid down-home phrases my father trots out all the time like “cute as a speckled pup” and crap like that, so I discounted Missouri.

I guess he’s really from Hawaii because every where else is just weird.

Where else is he not from? Where are you from? What makes you’re people weird? I got to looking on the internet and there are some really strange town names in the U.S.: Kalamazoo, Michigan? Spunky Puddle, Ohio? Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky? All real places. Truth is stranger than fiction. Where are you from?