I’ll mention you in my thank you speach

They gave out the Medals of Freedom last week. The recipients were quite varied – everyone from John Glenn to Bob Dylan. This made me wonder what exactly you had to do to qualify for a Medal of Freedom.

“The Medal of Freedom is presented to people who have made meritorious contributions to the national interests of the United States, to world peace or to other significant endeavors.”

You don’t even have to be alive to win. That will help my case since we all know real genius is often not recognized until after the artist is dead.

So I totally get why Bob Dylan got one. You can love him or hate him but you can’t deny his contributions to music.

John Glenn – duh – the first man to orbit Earth. I think Mr. Glenn should get any award he’s nominated for – at least as far as his space exploits are concerned.

Madeleine Albright – the first woman Secretary of State – a personal hero of mine.

Juliette Gordon Low – the founder of the commie pinko organization, The Girl Scouts.

Gordon Hirabayashi – he fought against the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II.

This was only a few of the recipients and, as you can see, there was quite a range of achievements.

I propose that next year I be nominated for my “significant endeavors” in sarcasm. Or absurdism. Or beating a dead horse with that panda kidnapping business. I think I have made meritorious contributions in the subject of glaring.

I’m not sure how busy you all are right now, so I’ve put a link in for the procedures to nominate me. Follow here. I think the most difficult part will be the “Narrative Description of Contributions or Achievements”. You know, just cut and paste some of my blog posts. That should work. The part about “Citations” might also be hard. If you guys do this as a group then you can all give each other citations.

I’m not sure how many of these nominations they get every year so make sure you send it in with all the postage required and use a nice bond paper. You can get it by the sheet fairly cheap if you have your nomination printed at Kinkos. And Mr. Obama is pretty busy so use a larger font, like maybe a 12 pt  Times New Roman cause you don’t want him to toss it aside just because it’s too hard to read.

It may be a little daunting, but just think how fulfilling it will be for you to know you actually helped someone you know win the prestigious Medal of Freedom.