Can dogs get starch poisoning?

I do not know what the deal is with my Idiot Dog. There is not a loaf of bread safe in a five block radius with him around.

Today when we were at the grocery store, My Honey picked out beautiful loaves of bread. He gently squeezed each one, smelled them for freshness and selected only the choicest loaves, rolls and hoagies.

He laid them in the cart with reverence. A reverence that I thought was pointless since we probably won’t get to eat any of those glorious bakery specimens. You wouldn’t believe how much yeasty goodness is missed out on because of that dog.

visualize a bloodhound instead of a bear

Honest to goodness, we tuck it safely up in a bed box, four and a half feet high in the pantry. We stash it in the closed microwave. We freeze it in the chest freezer in the laundry room. It never seems to matter. I can’t tell you the last time we successfully ate french rolls. I just don’t think that his super nose can ignore the siren song of bread, any bread, all bread.

No, by some miracle, we’ll find the empty bag, rolls completely gone except a few random sesame seeds. Roscoe is like the Houdini of bread thievery.

I think we’re going to have to put up a bear bag strung between the sink and the light fixture.