Cake Proxy

Amy and I spend many the entertained hour at Bank of No Forks.  We keep a lot of the stories to ourselves because you wouldn’t get them unless you worked here.  However, readers of this blog know that that’s not always the case.  We have been accused of making sh*t up all the time.  I assure you, we do not . . .

The other day we got an email telling us that we were to have a small, end of year celebration and it was to include a sheet cake.  And maybe some fruit – budget allowing.  We weren’t going to have to do anything; it was all going to be handled by corporate.  “Really?” I thought.  How was corporate going to order sheet cakes all over America?  But, what do I know . . . certainly not much since I work here.

My question was answered rather quickly in the form of a second email requesting the following:

• Point Of Contact from your team that I can reach out to with any questions I may have as I am placing orders etc, if it’s not you.  This will be the person the cake is delivered to on 12-14.
• Verify your Cost center.
• A local bakery phone number you utilize.
• *Please note I may request for an associate to pick up the cake for the Celebration in the event that the bakery does not deliver.

Hmmmmmm – after I provide all of that info AND go pick it up how is that being handled by corporate?  You know how?  It’s not.  It’s being handled by me.

A third email arrived with two “job aids” attached for ordering cake.  “Job aids” tell you how to do something – step by step.  Thank the gods that the job aids arrived; I was at my wits end over ordering cake. “How?” I kept asking myself, “How would I ever be able to order cake?”

Oh no.  One of the instructions says to order the cake by 11/30.  Except the email came today, 12/4.  I felt a panic attack coming on . . .

Luckily, a fourth email came and was an invitation to attend a 30 minute conference call for ordering the cake.  The email states if I can’t attend, I needed to provide a cake proxy.  I sh*t you not.  A cake proxy.  A conference call to order cake to go with two job aids . . . I couldn’t even get the words out to explain all of this to Amy.

She all but called me a liar.  “You DO NOT have a conference call to order the sheet cake.  They do not require a cake proxy if you can’t make it.  You did NOT get job aids to order cake.”  ***Note from Amylynn*** I’d like it noted I was not made the Cake Proxy. Apparently I’m not to be trusted.

The real issue isn’t receiving four emails to obtain one sheet cake – the real issue is that we don’t have forks to eat it with.  Where are the instructions for that?