Hints for a Happy Thanksgiving

I was at the grocery store today.  I don’t know what I was thinking, entering a grocery store the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  I’m obviously either completely insane or a glutton for punishment.  The lines were obscene, the people were crabby, and it was hot. 

Regardless, I had to go.  I needed to pick stuff up from the pharmacy.  For example: birth control.  Lord knows I love Sassy and The Bandit, but My Honey and I have mutually agreed that we do not wish to be out numbered.  Things could go horribly awry – can you imagine?  Yikes.  While I’m over sharing, let’s dig around in that pharmacy bag a little more, shall we?  I am shocked, quite frankly, at what the hell is in that damn bag.  I am now taking 6 pills every night before bed.  SIX!  Dear God in heaven, how old am I?  There is migraine pills, blood pressure pills, and now freaking high cholesterol meds.  You know who I blame?  Well, besides my family for giving me these genes, I blame Ava.  She is the worst possible influence.  She knows damn well that I have no self control.  Zero.  But where Ava is, there is dessert.  Deep sigh.

Unbelievably, the above is not what I was intending to tell you about.  I know!  Me – a tangent – who’d have thought. 

Last week when Ava and Isabella and I were wrapping up the pitch blurb, we started talking about deodorant.  I have absolutely no idea how that topic came up, but that’s typical for us.  Isabella mentioned that she had bought a new brand and worn it to work the other day.  This new deodorant smelled like Hawaii or some such nonsense.   Every time she moved her arms, she got a whiff of pineapple and, by the end of the day, she was starving.  I laughed because I’ve had the same experience – only mine was coconut and I was craving mai tais.

So there I was in the grocery store.  There are several other women browsing the aisle with me, and I remembered that conversation.  So now I’m not just browsing down that aisle, but I’m also cackling like an idiot. 

So, here is the secret to shopping the Wednesday before Thanksgiving: make the other shoppers fear you.  The place clears out pretty fast.