NEW RELEASES
Guess What? I’m Old, That’s What
I went to see my primary care physician the other day. She’s my age and a DO and she practices with her father. I’ve been seeing her or her father for my entire life and now she sees my children. It’s all very full circle and I love that we all know each other so well.
Anyway, because she’s a genius and a DO she does back manipulations. My back is ridiculous. I’ve never hurt it, but I have horrible posture and I sleep on my stomach – so my back hurts. I’m also pretty sure I have a hamster living under my left shoulder blade – that is the only thing that can explain the huge knot in that muscle that never goes away.
Anyway, I went in for an adjustment. It sounded like my spine was made of bubble wrap.
While I was there I asked her about a couple of other things that were pestering me but not enough to make an appointment on their own. Mostly the diagnosis were what I expected, and they all confirmed that I’m old.
My favorite diagnosis of all was the three words all writers dread: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. DHA DHA DHAAAAAA (that’s the sound of dramatic music by the way)
I’m going to treat it the way I treat all the other ailments I don’t like. I’m going to ignore it until it goes away. That’s a sound medical plan don’t you think?
In all seriousness, I took that denial course of action with CTS, and I wound up having surgery on both wrists and having my hands out of commission for about 4 months afterward. I highly recommend the wrist braces, especially at night. For many people, they nip CTS in the bud entirely, because many of us sleep with our wrists bent down all cozy-like under our chin, and it pinches the carpel [wrist] tunnel, then we wake up with numb arms. The wrist braces stop that, and for many people, it solves the problem permanently; no further issues. I stupidly waited until I was on the brink of permanent damage–possibly losing the use of my thumbs forever. Books were literally falling out of my hands, because I had lost my ability to grip. That’s definitely NOT the way you want to go!