Sorry Mrs Dooley

I know that I promised you a good post for today since, thanks to the horrendously bad customer service skills of my Internet cable provider, I had no Internet all weekend.

Well, the thing is I had nothing.  It was an empty promise.  And then, just for you guys, I spent no less than 2 1/2 hours screwing around on the Internet for stuff to entertain you.  That meant that I got no writing done.  At all.  I will admit that I opened my latest document and looked at it, and then went back to the Internet.

However, in honor of all you hay fever sufferers out there, I give you this:

I believe I counted 28 sneezes.  I love how he almost falls down when he’s done.  My brother would call that a “sneezure”.

On another note entirely:

I scared the hell out of a little kid the other day.  He and his dad were sitting on one end of a bench.  He was about 4 years old – right when they are good and impressionable.  I sat down on the other end of the bench and this seemed to disturb him.  Listen, I have a really large personal space requirement (I think it comes from being born and raised in the wide open spaces of the West) so I gave them plenty of room at their end of the bench.  The little boy said, “Hey! She’s sitting on our bench.”  I raised my eyebrows at him and replied, “It’s alright.  I don’t bite.  At least not until the sun goes down.”

Little dude freaked out.  I gotta remember that not all kids have been raised with a twisted mother like my kids have.  If someone said that to either of mine, they’d have given the eyebrow right back and said, “Right.”

The other day, The Bandit got a paper cut.  We were in the car and I wasn’t going to stop and dig out the first aid kit to get a band aid, so I told him to stick his finger in his mouth.  I know – not the most hygienic solution.  Go ahead and judge me.  But it doesn’ t matter because he looked at me completely appalled and stated, “I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!”

I am unaware when the Disney Channel or PBS started showing a pre-school version of Twilight and True Blood.

It turns out I did have something stupid and inane to tell you after all.  I really shouldn’t have had any doubt.  I always have something to say.  Just ask my 2nd grade teacher.  I spent the entire year in the corner for talking.