Ms Kelli’s Big Four Oh

Kelli had such a good time at The Bandit’s fifth birthday party at the bowling alley, she decided to have her 40th there also.  A ton of friends showed up and we all had a great time.  Some of us got drunker than others.  I won’t point any fingers but I’ll tell you I was stone cold sober.

Unfortunately, my being sober doesn’t explain my bowling scores AT ALL.

We were all shocked to see that Ava brought her own ball, with her name on it, and her own shoes.  Kelli pointed out, however, that we shouldn’t be surprised to find that Ava would flat out refuse to wear stranger’s shoes.  A very good point, that. 

Just prior to the party, Ava texted me to confirm the location of the bowling alley.  When I told her, she texted back, “You’re joking right?”

“No,” I replied.  “If the party gets crazy we can go outside and get a hooker!”

Ava said that when she and her husband arrived, she thought she’d traveled through a worm hole or something and wound up in Perth Amboy, NJ.

I assured her there would be cake.  I knew for a fact because I had texted Kelli earlier to verify.

In fact, here is the cake.

It’s kind of hard to tell, but her husband went over board with the Over The Hill theme.

The first game Kelli scored a not totally humiliating 135.  Ava had 73 and I limped in with 62. 

We did a little investigating on those damn pins and found they only weight about 3.5 lbs.  They must have magnets in them or Velcro or something.

One of the things that delighted our crowd the most was that after every turn, the score board would tell you how many miles per hour your ball was going.  We all averaged about 11 – 12 mph.  At one point, one of mine scored a whopping 4.9 mph.  I seriously thought we were going to have to send someone down there to fetch it when it didn’t make it the whole way but I managed to get one pin on that one.

The next round of scores had Kelli at 135, Ava at 99, and me at 60!  I really think my apathy had a lot to do with my score.

The games went very slowly as I’m sure you can imagine – what with all the screwing around and all.  At one point, we came to a grinding halt when we lost Kelli to the bar altogether.

Ava wants me to make it very clear that she beat Mr. Ava at least once.

I don’t know how humiliated we should be that Ava and I are both sore from bowling two days ago.  It’s not like we were even trying.  I don’t know if Kelli’s sore or not.  I was too embarrassed to ask her.