March 5

We survived April Fools Day with only a small amount of bruising. Whew. You never know with April Fools Day. Bad things can happen. When Amylynn’s brother was little you’d have to spend the entire day wary of buckets of water or fake spiders or jacked up bed sheets. Now we just don’t take calls from him on that certain day of the year and we’re much happier for it. How did your day go? Are you one of those people or are you victim like we are? Here’s some stuff that happened this week.

1. Tragedy at the Circus. We were 100% certain that this story was an April Fools prank, but research prevailed and it turns out it’s real. As implausible as it is. An entire flea circus in Berlin was wiped out by the cold. That’s 300 fleas people. Of course, they carried around the entire cast in a Dixie cup. We’re just kidding. It was a box. We have no idea why the box was left in the cold. For crying out loud, they can’t find a cat to flea-sit? Fortunately, an insect expert at a local university was able to supply 50 fleas at the last minute. Apparently, the training period is very brief. Still, seems like they could go to any alley and rustle up more fleas.

2. This is NOT about Michael Jackson. It seems that Justin Bieber has left his monkey in Berlin and if he doesn’t go back and fetch it the customs people are going to give it to a zoo. We have no idea why he won’t go get his monkey or why he thought he could just charge through Germany with an unpapered monkey. We wondered, it they were willing to substitute another animal for the monkey, we’d happily go fetch it. Also, do you suppose it has any fleas for the guys in #1?

3. Geek wonder!. Sir Ian McKellen is going to officiate the wedding of Patrick Stewart and his new bride. How gonzo is that?! In case you’ve been living in a vacuum that’s Gandalf officiating for Captain Picard. OR Magneto marrying off Dr. Xavier. Will the X-Men be invited? The crew of the Enterprise? Will Hobbits be there? We’re keeping a very close eye on our mailboxes for invitations.  Otherwise, this is a wedding that screams to be crashed.

4. Tokyo Joe’s. Ava is in Denver to cheer on the boy-who-lives-at-her-house who’s in a robotics championship. She fully intended to make her very first stop outside the airport be Tokyo Joe’s, never mind that would be at like 8am in the morning. When Amylynn ignorantly asked what was so damn special, Ava replied, “It’s the best freakin beef teriyaki on the planet. I always get extra sesame seeds. The beef is cooked just right. The sauce is not too sweet, just right. The rice is perfectly steamed, not sticky, not hard, fluffy. And the people who sell it to you are all tattooed and pierced or they can’t work there.” Apprently, this restaurant is JUST RIGHT.

5. Amazon’s reviewers. This has been a long running joke on Facebook and we just finally looked in on it. If you’ve ignored it up to now, you should wait no longer. Honestly, people are so very, very clever. Prepare yourself for hysteria.