NEW RELEASES
In Our Humble Opinion . . . having more than 3 cats earns you the label of “cat lady” – no exceptions.
We’re registering our blog
Slowly the Quill Sisters are figuring out this technology thing. We’re registering this blog with places people go to find blogs. Not very funny or especially witty but there you have it. We don’t want to work at Bank of No Forks anymore because, honestly, nothing they do there has anything to do with The Quill Sisters and we find that rather dull.
Just disregard this: AMYHJ8B5Y8SA
Thank you, faithful readers.
Love The Quill Sisters
I can barely keep the boy in his underwear. Jewelry is out of the question.
My father leaves the weirdest messages on my cell phone since his stroke a couple of years ago. In general, my brother and I have had some very bizarre conversations with him, My Brother more than me since he lives with my brother. Just today My Brother called to vent after a particularly exasperating exchange that denegrated into an argument about the new year’s calendar. I’m not going to try to relate the specifics of the debate to you here because I’m not sure I understand them. My brother certainly didn’t and my father definitely didn’t.
There was another mind numbing debate recently over the football playoff schedule. These conversations are so strange, sometimes my brother and I think he’s just messing with us.
So for the past week or so my dad has left three or more voice mails for me that simply said, “Thank you for not giving me a grandson in a dog collar.”
The first time, I just shrugged. The second time he did it, I squinted my eyes very hard at the phone, but that didn’t illuminate the issue for me. Every time I got the message I would call him back to ask him what the hell he was talking about, but he never answered.
Then the other night I was sitting on the couch supposedly writing on chapter seven and the following commerical came on. I realized my father was not insane – just funny.
So now if someone can just explain to me what his issue is with the 2011 calendar, My Brother and I would be really grateful.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . wearing your pajamas to Target should not require embarrassment or an explanation after 7:00PM.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . it’s not our fault if your face freezes that way – we warned you twice.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . you shouldn’t go towards the light, that’s where all the bugs are.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . musical chairs is child abuse, at least it is the way the Quill Sisters play it.
Stephen King and I
Stephen and I have never had an easy relationship. When I was much younger, I attempted to read “It”. I don’t remember exactly why I didn’t finish the book but I do remember that I didn’t. In all fairness to Mr. King, I was always heavily into historical romances and perhaps he was just not what I was interested in back then.
I felt fully vindicated in my ignoring him when I saw the film version of the book. I do not like horror movies at all but not even I was frightened by IT.
Recently, I was extremely annoyed with Stephen for condemning the writing skills of Stephanie Meyers. Was that really
something he needed to point out? Thanks Captain Obvious! For those of you who don’t know, Ms. Meyers is the author of the Twilight series. Currently, it is very fashionable to bash these books and movies. However, I don’t think he bashed her writing to appear fashionable – I think he was just being mean.
Don’t worry Stephanie. My favorite author might be Christopher Hitchens but I have read every word of your stories and have seen all of the movies. My eleven year old still makes us watch them on the weekends. You have millions of fans and millions of dollars and you don’t need Stephen King!
Right about now you’re wondering why I even bring him up. Well, I’ll tell you – Amylynn loves Stephen King. Every time
Mr. King in SOA
I admit I have no use for him; she says I would change my mind if I gave him another chance. Just to shut her up, I said okay. That and he was delightful on Sons of Anarchy.
She loaned me a book of short stories and told me they were great. Great – was the word she used. Great. The first story was Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. Having seen the movie, I dove right in. And you know what? It was darn good. Some might use the word GREAT. I was starting to think that I’d been too hasty in my dislike, so I moved on to the second short story – Apt Pupil.
I guess it’s been a number of years since Amylynn has read these stories because surely she would not have ever given me this particular book if she actually wanted me to ever like him.
The story starts out just as well written as the first story (Yes, Stephen, you are a brilliant writer and story teller) and you keep turning the pages even while you’re supposed to be in bed sleeping because you have work the next day.
All of this comes to a grinding halt on page 200 of the edition I have. For those of you who have never read this story – I am not making this up – one of the main characters puts a living cat in an oven at 500 degrees. And then he describes
EXACTLY
the cat’s suffering and death.
I am certain that Stephen is a crazy lunatic. The paragraphs are sickening and clearly written by a deranged individual. That’s some vivid imagination Mr. King has there, almost like he was writing from memory.
I have to admit something; I had no intention of ever reading another word written by Stephen again. Ever. Not even if he came back to Entertainment Weekly after dropping us flat.
After a few days, I kept wondering what happened at the end of the story. I kept telling myself that it was just a story; I didn’t really need to know how it ended. Another few days went by and I couldn’t stop myself. I not only finished that story but started the third.
I hate you Stephen King, you are a sick bastard with genius writing skills.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . ABBA spelled backwards is ABBA, we don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Also Slutty and Neurtsy which are both horrible and wrong
Did you all know that before finally choosing the dwarfs final names, Disney also considered Chesty, Tubby, Burpy,
Deafy, Hickey, Wheezy and Awful? Can you imagine?
All the dwarfs were male so I’m assuming that Chesty would not have had huge breasts. Maybe his prototype was of a sailor with a large tattoo. “I heart Snow White” maybe? And what about Tubby? As I recall, Doc was a bit portly. Maybe they just combined the two.
Burpy? Really? That’s just gross.
Deafy? Not very P.C. but perhaps they weren’t too worried about that in 1937. After all, Al Jolson was still making movies in black face for God’s sake.
Hickey? Holy crap. One can only assume the drawings of this guy was disgusting – a teenage covered in suck marks probably. Ick.
Wheezy – well, I guess Wheezy is no worse than Sneezy. I wonder if one of the animators suffered from allergies.
Awful, like Doc and Tubby, was probably morphed with Grumpy.
How about this little bit of insight from Disney on yet another ill-fated name.
JUMPY: He is in constant twitchy fear of being goosed, but is not goosed until the last scene. Whenever he hears a noise behind him, he starts, and his hand automatically protects his fanny. He is exceedingly ticklish.
Does anyone besides me find this disturbing? Was there a lot of this going around at the animation studio?
Give one a whole different perspective on Disney movies, huh?