Not as bad as a loose power steering belt

I desperately needed a new pair of shoes that I would be able to stand in comfortably for twelve hours. TWELVE HOURS. I’m 100% certain you’ll hear more about that in the near future, but that’s not the point of this point.

Cute, right?

These new shoes have to go with black pants because the only dress code options we have are black or khaki pants and khaki pants make me look fat. They also must have a very low or nonexistant heel. Remember that twelve hour thing?  Ava and I hustled over to DSW to look for cute clearance shoes and I found these for a whopping sixteen dollars. Total steal.

When we got back to work I put them on so I could make sure that they wouldn’t hurt or pinch or cause me to want to commit suicide. This is very important with shoes you are going to have to wear for twelve hours at a time.  Initially everything went swimmingly. They were comfortable and had the added benefit of making my feet look even smaller than they already are.  Then I walked to the bathroom. The right shoe squeaks – only the right one. Loudly. It was loud enough to be embarassing.

I looked up on the Internet and got a plethora of fixes but I have no idea if I’ll ever get around to buying shoe conditioner or corn starch or saddle soap. Do they even still make saddle soap? I guess living in the wild west that this is the place to find out.

You know what I’ll probably do? Just talk loudly when I walk. It’s the same principle as turning up the radio when the car makes a weird noise. I love denial.