Like “Let’s Make a Deal” only totally not

Sassy made a deal with me. If she could correctly answer three questions of my choosing, then she could stay up and read for another thirty minutes. I was in a wagering kind of mood, so I agreed, especially with the codicil of “my own choosing.” Foolish girl.

Too bad there wasn’t any money at stake.

“Question number one,” I began, “What is Grandma’s middle name?”

“Which Grandma?” she asked.

“Either.”

“Myrtle?” Oh, this is definitely my kid. No one else in the world would have pulled that name out of the air.

I laughed and made the buzzer noise. “Nope. Aleta or Ann would have been acceptable. Question number two…”

“Nothing about family members,” she interrupted.

Fine. I could work with that. “Number two. How many pounds of pressure is in my car tires?”

“Uhhhh, nine?”

Again with the buzzer noise. “Nope. 32 pounds. Number three..”

“OK, nothing about cars or people in the family.”

“I wasn’t aware we could make up new rules as we went along,” I noted.

“Yeah, well I don’t know any of those things,” she informed me.

I wonder how hard it would be to get one of these out of Australia?

“Duh. That’s why I asked them. What do you know about?”

“Animals, I know lots about animals,” she said with confidence.

“Fine. How many feathers on a duckbill platypus?”

“NONE!” she hollered across the expanse of the dark bed.

I laughed. “Very good. Trick question. The score is two for me, one for you.”

“I’m gonna win!” Her voice was high with misguided self-assurance. “I told you I know animal questions.”

“So you say. Are you ready for question four?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What was the Elephant Man’s real name?”

“That’s not an animal question,” she protested. It’s too bad there wasn’t a judge around to hear her case. It’s hard to say who would have won, but I’d like to think it would have been me on the technicality that there was an animal in the question. “That’s like a half an animal question.”

“Quit stalling,” I told her preparing to get out of her bed and give her a final kiss good night. I hummed the Jeopardy theme music.

“I don’t know.” I could hear the pout in her voice.

“Just give me his last name, then.”

Heavy, huffing sigh. “Forget it.”

“Good night. I love you.”

“You are really unfair.”

“Yep.” I kissed her forehead. “You know, ‘Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line’.”

“Mooo-ooom! No one ever knows what you’re talking about.”

“Inconceivable!,” I said as I waltzed out of her dark bedroom, “cause I’m really funny.”

“No you’re not. You’re just weird.”

I’m totally fine with that.