My boy might be the reincarnation of Jimmy Hoffa

Sassy joined the Girl Scouts this year. Do you know what this means?

Girl Scout Cookies!

We picked up a car load of cookies this weekend and Sassy was all gung-ho to sell them. Back in my day of being a Girl Scout I would merrily go house to house selling Thin Mints, but I can’t let Sassy do anything of the sort. I knew I had to accompany her.

Sassy doesn’t believe that her mother should have naps. The child nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged. I’ll bet you think I’m being repetitive, but I’m not. There is no fishwife in the history of humanity who can nag with more conviction and unrelenting zeal than Sassy.

So Sassy, The Bandit and I grabbed several boxes of cookies and headed down our street. I waited at the curb and my little cherubs trotted up to the door to knock. Sassy tapped timidly on the door and when no one answered right away she turned as if she was ready to give up.

Bang. Bang. Bang. The Bandit took his knocking seriously. “Open up,” he yelled at the door. “We’ve got cookies.”

Holy Cow! Is my boy practicing to be a member of a SWAT team? I shook my head at them from the curb but they didn’t notice.

The door opened was opened by a very tall gentleman. “Can I help you?” he asked.

Sassy went in to her spiel. The Bandit stood back a step or two behind her. I think he might have been trying to look intimidating – all three and a half feet of him. I watched from the curb and noted that things didn’t appear to be progressing very well.

“What do you mean, ‘You don’t eat this kind of cookie’?” The Bandit yelled. “Dude, they’re Girl Scout Cookies. Everyone likes Girl Scout Cookies.”

The man took The Bandit’s measure. “You’re not even a Girl Scout, little boy.”

“Whatever. You want some cookies or what?”

Even standing at the curb I was startled. The very tall gentleman on the porch looked equally so. “OK,” he said and looked to the case Sassy had in her hands. She smiled at him angelically. “What kind do you have?”

“Thin Mints.” The Bandit took a box from Sassy’s case. “Everyone likes Thin Mints.”

The man handed over his four dollars and retreated to the safety of his house.

I watched with horror as Sassy and The Bandit came down his sidewalk in victory, The Bandit lecturing his sister. “That’s how you sell cookies, Sassy.”