It’s alarming how inexpensive those restraining orders are

Groupon replied to our last email volley.

Greetings Q-Sisters,

I’ve received some interesting information from our P.R. department regarding your inquiries. The cat has actually not left his head at all— he’s merely hunkered down and pawed his way further into Andrew’s hair maze. The purring vibrations brilliantly stimulate the braincase, which is an essential part of the daily deal creating process. His name is Archer. As I have noticed that “Groupon Descriptions” are #3 in last week’s list of “5 Things That Kept Us From Slitting Our Wrists” post on July 15, it is highly unadvisable for us to provide you with Andrew’s muse-cat.

Spice now plays the organ at Chicago’s Wrigley Field and Daniel Kibblesmith is our office cobbler, so neither are up for adoption at the moment.

I hope this helps and thank you for your interest. I wish you all luck writing your historical fiction romance novels. Aaron says hello.
Regards,

Jane F.

I’ll be honest, we are disappointed.  We were really looking forward to Kibblesmith, or Archer as they insist on calling him although I think they’re wrong, and Spice coming to stay with us for a while.  I could really use some brain stimulation and, if Kibblesmith is as good as they are implying, his aid would be invaluable.

Also, we love shoes and could use our very own cobbler.

The Sisters had a committee meeting and we decided not to reply – for now, although we reserve the right to pester them again at a later date.  We’re actually kinda concerned they might take out a restraining order. 

I, for one, hope Groupon doesn’t think we’re breaking up with them just because we don’t reply.

You hear that? I still love you, Groupon!