February 17

This was one weird week. Monday and Tuesday we wore sandals, Wednesday it snowed. SNOWED. We don’t live in the desert because we want to mess with temperatures cold enough for snow. Amylynn complained about it to her old friend in Anchorage but he had no sympathy for her. He seemed to think that she didn’t have any room to whine until she had the equal of their 139 inches. That’s just ridiculous. 139 inches. Someone should file a report about that or something. That can’t be right. What really matters is that we’re here – not in Anchorage – and the only weather that really matters is where we are. Snow schnow. Perhaps the Occupy Wall Streeters can add that to their long list of grievances. It’s a good thing these little doozies were around to amuse us.

1. The Walking Dead. You might think that this is cheating because we mentioned the character Daryl before, but it’s not. We pulled out the Five Things Rule Book and nope, so long as we’re not highlighting Daryl we are well within the guidelines. If you’re not watching this AMC show, you’re missing out. It’s a great little drama. Although we will admit we will do things differently during the real zombie apocalypse. It’s really alarming how often these people touch dead zombies and various zombie parts with no gloves. If there was ever a reason to wrap yourself in Saran Wrap this is it.  The season is starting out hot – Lori’s upside down in a car and Rick finally grew some balls. It’s gonna be a good season.

2. Artful Vandalism. Don’t get us wrong, vandalism is always bad. Sometimes it’s funny though, too. Like in this instance. Next to the dry cleaners is an empty store front that used to house a scrapbooking store. You may not have inferred that from the strategic scratch-outs suggesting it was Your crapbook Sour – making memories forgettable.

3.Heated seats. It might be a little ridiculous for us to be so thrilled about heated seats in a town that spends well in excess of a hundred days a year over one hundred degrees, but we still are. We have thin blood here in the desert and our tushies get quite chilly on those winter mornings when it’s a frigid 37 degrees. All you readers in much colder climes understand that we know we’re completely absurd, don’t you? We get how crazy we are and we don’t care. We suspect you find it amusing or you wouldn’t keep coming back here for more doses of crazy.

4. Stress Relief. In the form of technical support. More specifically Indian technical support. There may be nothing more satisfying than a long, drawn-out, dramatic sigh and the consequent pause from the tech support person while they determine if you’re still alive on the other end of the phone. Oh, we’re alive alright and you should prepare yourself for Armageddon, my friend, because it’s coming. It’s entirely possible that everything wrong with the world can be traced back to a tech support person. You may think that’s a little harsh but we think that we could play 4.75 degrees of separation with any catastrophe and tech support

5. Behold the pink necklace. Mont Blanc has created this necklace with Her Serene Highness Princess Grace of Monaco in mind. Clearly the Sisters were of a similar mind with the Princess which only goes to prove that our kingdom is out there somewhere waiting for us. We’re going to gather all the change under the couch cushions and car ashtrays until we can gather up enough funds to buy one of our own. The necklace, not the kingdom. We’ll wear it to our coronation. You’re all invited. There’ll be cake:  White cake with white frosting and white sprinkles which is not from the Rincon Market.