NEW RELEASES
How About a Nice Chianti?
Dinner at my house is one of my least favorite times of the day. I’m telling you, these children of mine had better not ever be invited to the White House to dine or I will be mortified. Their father and I have done everything we can to try to instill manners in these people to no avail. In fact, I threaten every day to serve Sassy dinner with no utensils – no fork, no spoon, no knife. She doesn’t use them until I yell at her to do so, so I don’t see why I should have to wash a fork she’s not interested in using anyway. And we’re not talking about finger foods here. The other night it was mashed potatoes. FREAKING MASHED POTATOES! Deep, aggravated sigh.
And another thing. I’m going to remove the chairs from their places, too. Neither one of my kids sits in them. Instead, they lounge and roll around in them like they’re baboons or something. At least half the time The Bandit is sitting backwards in his and, more than once, I’ve looked over there to find his rear end up in the air and his head on the seat. There have been four times this month alone when one or the other of them has fallen out of the chair. Then they have the audacity to be mad at their father and I when we laugh at them. Well, you laugh at monkeys in the zoo, don’t you?
Tonight was the end. The absolute end. When I see My Honey’s sister I’m going to slug her because the whole thing is her fault – she taught him how to do it.
For dinner, I made Mexican food: Taquitos, refried beans, quesadillas and guacamole. I don’t want to hear from anyone about the shocking lack of vegetable on the menu. If you didn’t read my post about my serious lack of domestic skills, and you feel pity for the children that may be getting rickets as we speak, then you may fell free to drop off a casserole that I will burn.
Dinner was proceeding in it’s usual noisy fashion. My eyes hurt from all the daggers they were shooting, which by the way, those hateful children aren’t the least bit afraid of. My Honey and I were studiously ignoring the kids, trying to have a wee bit of adult conversation, when all of a sudden he struck. Out of no where, The Bandit have me a Wet Willie with a guacamole soaked finger. I still smell avocados. Now everyone at the table is hysterically laughing including my traitor of a husband who dubbed it a “Wet Willito”.
What are you having for dinner tomorrow? I’ll bring the wine.
I was typing away and accidentally hit something the caused my comment to completely disappear, so I am trying again.
I’ll tell you what I’m NOT having for dinner–beef burgundy, that’s what! It takes waaaay too long to make if you use Julia Child’s recipe.
A friend asked me to see “Julie and Julia” one afternoon. I did not like the movie, because I am highly allergic to scenes that I think are about to turn out very badly, like the one in which Julia and her husband are having cocktails before dinner at a restaurant, and she begins flinging her martini glass around, making a wild gesture about something she had just said. I thought that at any time, that glass and its contents was going to hit someone square in the face. Panic attack!
On the way home, my friend suggested that we have a dinner, making something from the movie, like beef burgundy. I agreed, and I also agreed to do the cooking.
The prep time was much too long, and all those ingredients! Who keeps stuff like that around? Except the wine, of course. By the time I had put everything together and dinner was ready, I was exhausted!
My friend and her husband arrived, and I was in a fugue state. She asked if I was coming down with something because my eyes look a little glassy. I told her I was fine, and after a little “amuse bouche” we sat down to eat.
In twenty minutes, everything was consumed, and the plates were licked clean. I spent ALL DAY and it was over in twenty minutes.
I had much rather paint. At least I have something to show for it afterwards, and there are no dishes to do.
So, here is what I am having for dinner tonight–chili! This is the perfect night! The wind is howling, and the temperature is dropping.
If you want to join us, just give me a call, and bring the wine. If you are smart, though, you will stay home and be entertained by your adorable children. It’s too messy to go out.