Just one more thing to add to our FBI file

Every parent, at one time or another, thinks having children was a bad idea. The Sisters do not believe anyone – not one single person – who refuses to admit this unalienable truth. It’s just the way it is. Children may be funny and life affirming and ultimately make you proud, but they’re still very annoying and unfathomable people. It doesn’t matter how much you love your kids, even Bill Cosby thinks they’re crazy.

Recently, we’ve been considering selling ours and we’ve come up with a couple of ideas to investigate.

Congress – talk about annoying. Our children will hardly even be noticed with all the Congress people’s childish fighting, tattling, and, most likely, smacking each other in the bathroom just like our own kids. We suspect we could locate more than one Congressional individual who’d give us a couple of bucks for four youngsters perfectly able to run for coffee.

The Circus – just think, they’d never have to take baths again. We’re certain the kids would like that. Maybe they’ll finally learn how to feed the animals. And if they don’t like shoveling puppy poop then, ooooooh, are they going to be unhappy when they find what the elephants left for them.

Gypsies – This one is very similar to the circus option above, plus even more travel! If you really think about it, we’d be giving our children the opportunity of a lifetime to visit the world. AND if we manage to make enough money in the exchange to take a nice vacation and buy some new carpet wouldn’t that be wonderful? Besides, it’s not our fault there’s a Jell-O stain on the carpet.

Merry Maids – Seriously. Isn’t this the most delightfully ironic thing you’ve ever heard? Instead of just making our homes look like frat houses, they could clean ACTUAL frat houses. Then maybe there’d be more respect for urinal aim.

This excites us so much we can hardly keep from twirling our Snidely Whiplash mustaches.