She’s gonna have some explaining to do when she gets back to school

Sassy stayed home sick from school today. I dreaded getting The Bandit up and ready to go because I knew there would be whining and such once he found out. He would plead to get to stay home, too. But, no, he got up and we goofed around just like usual. He got dressed and put on his shoes. I fixed him some breakfast and made him a lunch, gathered up his backpack and we went out to the car with no complaint.

It wasn’t until we were actually getting into the car that he seemed to notice his sister wasn’t with us. I explained that she’d had a rough night and was staying home sick.

“Oh great,” he said and slammed the car door.

I thought, Oh, here we go.

“What am I supposed to tell all her weird friends?” he asked.

Every morning as soon as I pull up at the drop-off spot, my car is launched upon by a gang of fifth-grade girls. There is a great deal of squealing and hugging. The boy finds this almost unbearable.

“Tell the first one that she has joined the circus to be the bearded lady,” I suggested.

He giggled.

“When the next one asks, tell her that Sassy has dropped out of society to run the motocross circuit.”

There was an amused snort from the back seat.

“Finally, tell the last one she got married and moved to Las Vegas to live with a band of tattoo artists.”

“This stuff is good,” he told me and I was pleased to have provided some amusement. “Can I really tell them this stuff?”

“Sure,” I said.

“They’re so stupid; they’ll believe me.” He left the car with a gleam in his eye.

That, Internet, is OK parenting at it’s best.