AND I look like crap in purple stretch pants

Once a year I go see my neurologist. I have suffered from migraines since I was thirteen. This doctor has done a really good job of getting me on maintenance drugs and I do pretty well.

Then I developed some new weird symptoms. Some awful symptoms.

Hang with me here. There’s a punch line coming.

Wretched electrical sensations and what feels like a cattle prod stabbed through my eye. Lovely, no? Then this past weekend, the cattle prod was stabbed through my ear.

Seriously, the punch line is coming.

In one of those rare occasions where the timing is perfect, I saw him today and mentioned this shitty new development.

He confirms that I have trigeminal neuralgia. It’s shit. Don’t get it. So I ask him about treatments. There is some maintenance drug therapy. And there’s this other thing.

Gamma radiation.

WHAAAAAAAT?

“Like in the Hulk? That kinda Gamma radiation?” I asked, stupefied.

Like this shit is real?

It’s called Gamma knife surgery. Don’t Google it; it’ll scare the bejesus out of you.

My response was, “I’m out.”

There is no part of this that sounds good to me.  No one with as short a temper as I have should be messing around with Hulk medicine – brain disorder or no.

Besides, green is really not my color.