April 17

Amylynn made a tactical error today. She wore jeans to work. It’s Friday after all and that means jeans. Anyway, she got the most adorable pink nail polish yesterday, and her toes need polishing. If this blog entry is never finished, it’s because she passed out trying to fold herself in half while wearing jeans. Have you ever tried to fold your foot up to your face when you’re wearing denim? First you feel a bit woogy from the polish fumes, and then you start to cough which is damn near impossible to do with your diaphragm constricted. Then the dizziness begins and, before you know it, there are stars dancing in front of your eyes. DO NOT fall off the chair when you pass out. That’s a rookie mistake. You’ll probably hit your head, but more devastating than that would be screwing up your polish because then you have to start all over again. Anyway, here’s some funny stuff while we practice breathing.

1. All the best people go. Some of them are dragged, kicking and screaming, but they go. We’re talking about Chipotle of course. We’re sure you’ve heard that Hillary Clinton was in Chipotle this past week. She and the vice-chairwoman of her campaign ordered just over $20 worth of food. The big scuttle butt is that Hillary didn’t speak to anyone there. The Sisters wonder if SHE WAS HUNGRY. Why doesn’t it ever occur to anyone that perhaps famous people get hungry and just want to shove some brown rice and genetically unaltered chicken in their mouths. Also, some people are also aghast that she didn’t tip–despite the fact that she didn’t pay. The other woman treated. We took an informal poll of people who eat at Chipotle and we learned that no one tips. We didn’t even know that was a thing. What have we learned from this story? That it’s going to be a very long political season.

2. Team Daenerys. We’ve been very forthright with you that, when it come to Game of Thrones, the Sisters are firmly intrenched in Team Daenerys. She has dragons. Enough said. Also, Khol Drogo. Seriously. Take a moment if you need one. There was a time when we could have been persuaded to go team Stark, but that was only because of the direwolves. When it comes right down to it, our favorite Stark has always been Arya regardless of her ownership of a direwolf (which she doesn’t have anymore now anyway). We have one thing to say to Daenerys. We’re really disappointed that you locked up your babies in a dungeon. No wonder they’re mad at you. Jeez, when

This is her current family

we are 3 minutes late with Jojo Kitty’s food he’s mad, and he gets free run of the house. We suspect you’re going to need those dragons very soon, honey, and you had better head down there with some kibble and make amends.

3. Where are her people? Have you heard about the crazy German woman who is having quadruplets. That sentence alone is enough to wonder about a person’s sanity, but there’s more. She’s 65-years-old. She already has 13 children ranging in age from 9 to 44 with five different fathers. She decided to get pregnant again because her 9-year-old daughter wanted a younger sibling. We’ll wait here while you roll your eyes.

Not your regular Starbucks machine

There is so much here to boggle the mind that we don’t even know where to start. She should have just gotten a dog, some therapy, and maybe a nice bottle of wine.

4. There is never an excuse for instant coffee. Cape Canaveral is getting ready to send SpaceX, a supply ship, to the International Space Station with an authentic espresso machine straight from Italy along with a bunch of food and stuff. The ISSpresso (get it? International Space Station = ISS) machine was made by Lavazza who worked with an engineer from Argotec and the Italian Space Agency to make a machine that works in space, and is intended for astronaut Samantha

Our Ipsy bag for April

Cristoforetti of Italy. Unbelievably she’s been up there since January drinking instant coffee. Egads! That’s appalling. Someone needs to answer for this.

5. Makeup samples are gifts from the gods. We defy you to find a woman who doesn’t love makeup samples. You won’t. She doesn’t exist. We located Ipsy and our prayers were answered. Each month they send you a bunch of samples, some things are even full size, of stuff you’d never have found on your own. We’ve amassed eye shadows, crazy-expensive moisturizer, nail polish, lip gloss, perfume, eye liner, mascara – you name it. And each month it comes in a different adorable little zippered clutch bag. See that pink polish – that’s the one on Amylynn’s toes right now. Yay! The Ipsy bag is here!