There were celebratory cookies!

I thought I’d share with you how I was tortured today.

Since moving from Bank of No Forks to the new company, Ava has been harassing me. I need to get a license for my job that I never needed before. To obtain this license you have to have taken 20 hours of industry related classes, and then take both a federal and a state licensing exam.

It’s a big damn deal and there’s a lot of pressure.

I studied like a maniac, well actually I crammed like when I was in college the last couple of days. The federal test is scheduled over 3 hours and 45 minutes. If that’s not enough to freak you out, I don’t know what will. I drove across town like a bat out of hell so I could get a hamburger on the way. I tried to memorize regulations at every stop light along the way. When I got to the testing facility, I had no idea what to expect. The people were very nice while they told me to take off my watch and leave all of my belongings in a locker. They were so serious about it, I was actually anticipating that they’d hand me a paper medical gown and I’d be forced to leave my clothes in that locker, too.

So now all my stuff was in the locker – all except my driver’s license. I despise my driver’s license. My picture is truly horrible. I look like a female ax murder with the worst skin on the planet. I defy anyone to show me a worse driver’s license photo.

The lady held it in her hand and peered at it. “Are you certain this is you?”

“Sadly, yes, it is.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s mortifying isn’t it?”

“You are much cuter than this photo would imply.”

“Well that may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a photo I’m in.”

Then, in order to punish me, she took my picture again. Gak!

They asked me if I had any pockets.

“No.”

Unbelievably, they waved a metal detector all around me to verify this. I had some irrational fear that I’d secreted away some metal object and I’d forgotten about it. Turns out no. I’m a terrible spy. I didn’t have any secret tattoos with the test answers in them.

The test made me a wreck. The good news is a passed – this one at least. I have to take the state version on Wednesday.

I’ll bet I could write answers on the bottoms of my feet if I wore sandals.