Just scrape off the crust…

Sassy is pretty certain that I’m trying to kill her. That’s ridiculous, of course. If I was going to do it, I would choose something way more sure fire than sending an expired cookie in her lunchbox.

Seriously. An expired cookie.

The back ground here is that she is overly concerned about expiration dates.

I’ve tried to theorize to her about the concept of yogurt and sour cream and cottage cheese. She doesn’t buy the explanation that all of that is old milk already. She routinely goes through the pantry, pulling out boxes of cereal and asking, “Is this safe to eat?”

“Dear God, child,” I exclaim. “It’s cereal! Eat it!”

Toothpaste. Peanuts. Candy. “Is this safe to eat?”

I’m forever finding stuff like this in the garbage. Saltines don’t go bad. Stale, yes, but no one will die from an expired Saltine. You’ll never convince her of that.

So I was in a hurry trying to get the kids lunches packed and all of us out the door in time for work one morning. I assembled sandwiches and juice boxes. I tossed in a string cheese, some grapes, and grabbed two packages of Grandma’s peanut butter cookies.

Peanut butter cookies. I LOVE peanut butter cookies.

This was the text conversation around noon:

Sassy – sending me a photo

Me – What is that date for?

Sassy – The cookie you packed me for lunch.

Me – It’s ok. You can eat it. It may just be a bit stale.

Sassy – Noooooooo You know how bad I am with expired food and expiration dates.

Me – You’re weird.

Sassy – Thanks mum I love  you. PS. I’m not eating that cookie.

Her father and I were in the living room that night after the kids went to bed. “Why are you trying to kill our daughter?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Good grief. It’s a COOKIE! Cookies don’t go bad.”

“That’s botulism in a wrapper.”

Jeez, these people.