September 18

For Sale: Two children with excellent hair. Also, astounding ability to converse with compatriots while in an educational establishment. Overachievers in the skills of eye-rolling and procrastination. Unusually good at fiction fabrication and bearers of enlarged persecution complexes.

You might wonder how things are going at the Sister’s various houses, but despite the Craig’s list ad above, you can assume things are going as well as can be expected considering that we’re proud to be the World’s Most Okayest Moms. At this point, that all four of the children are alive is something to be proud of. Or at least it’s the best accomplishment we’ve had this week. There were funny things however, and we’re happy to share. Here you go.

we don’t know who this is, but EWWWWW!

1. Why is it always Florida? This time it’s Miami, but you know it could have been anywhere in that state. Saying that they’re odd down there is an understatement. Maybe it’s the humidity. Whenever we have been in Florida, we’ll admit, we get a little sketchy, too. This latest incident involves 52-year-old Eddy Juan who was arrested in the library at Florida Internal University. His crime? Yeah, Mr. Juan was crawling around under the tables in order to smell women’s feet. Take a moment if you need to. We understand. We wish we could explain this to you, but we can’t. Perhaps we’re all being short sighted here. We’re always trying to figure out a way to get out of our day jobs. How bad could letting perverts smell your feet really be?

2. Bad News, Bears. Some seriously upsetting news has come out of Washington this week. If #1 pans out like we think it might, then we’re going to have to cozy up to a banker. The IRS has stated they will no longer accept payment in checks if your tax payment is $100,000,000 or more. In case you got lost there in all those zeros, that’s 100 million. Apparently, the checks processing equipment at the Federal Reserve bank can’t handle checks that big. We wondered, exactly how often does this happen? Seriously? More than you think apparently. This year the IRS accepted 14 checks for more than $99,999,999. ***Eyeroll*** Oh to have this problem.

Bustling!

3. A perfect example of poor planning. The FBI arrested a flight attendant  with Delta Airlines. He is charged with among other things, fabricating a hoax about a suspicious package. We’re not sure what he was hoping would happen, but what he got was an emergency landing in Bismark, North Dakota. We can’t imagine that North Dakota was his intended destination. North Dakota is no ones intended destination. Honestly, if you’re planning this sort of thing, plan it over somewhere good. Hawaii anyone? Not that we want to offend the North Dakotans, or specifically even the

NOT the actual mauling

Bismarkians, but we’ll bet they wish they were somewhere else, too. Maybe even Miami – see #1. Think, people. Think.

4. More poor planning. A 62-year-old man in Anchorage, Alaska was mauled by a bear while walking his neighbor’s dog in the woods. The man stated he was able to call for help on his cellphone. Thank goodness. Unfortunately, he wasn’t carrying a gun or bear spray. That seems like a very bad idea especially when he was in the WOODS with bear bait on a leash. We’ll bet he’s better prepared next time. Or he gets a bigger dog. Whatever, once again the Sisters offer proof that one should stay inside.

5. Someone up there loves us. Look what Ava found at the grocery store. Can you believe it? Us neither. YUMMY! It’s not exactly like eating actual Swedish Fish but it’s darn close. And, to make matters even better, there are <5 calories and 2 grams of carbs per serving. Gum for everyone. This gave the Sisters a whole lot of ideas – Trident Layers with Jordan Almonds! Trident Layers with Chik Fila Frozen Lemonade! Trident Layers with Chipotle! Okay, maybe not the last one but you get the point.