He’s totally used to being frisked

Sassy and The Bandit went to school Monday and Tuesday of this week with the rest of the week off.  My Honey annoyingly also had the same days off from work which was really convenient since I wouldn’t have to scramble to find them a sitter.  On Wednesday, My Honey decided to take one of his finals for school, a practical exam that would take approximately three hours.  He arranged for the kiddies to stay with his mom for a couple of hours.

As he was getting them ready to go, he asked The Bandit several times if he had on underwear and, consequently, several times he told the boy to, “Go put on underwear right now!”

When they left the house, he asked one more time, “Are you wearing underwear?” and the boy nodded the affirmative.

So my children had a grand time with their grandmother.  They all did a bunch of work in the garden and in the process got soaking wet.  Back in the house, Grandma stripped the kids of their pants with the goal of putting them in the dryer – the pants not the kids, although…  So there stood my son in the laundry room t-shirt and absolutely nothing else.

“Grandma, I don’t have any underwear,” he told her needlessly since there he was in all his nekkid glory, willy flapping in the breeze from the air duct.

Grandma found him a long t-shirt to wear until his pants dried.

My Honey related this story to me with a rather high level of  exasperation. 

“I told you a zillion times, you can’t just ask.  You must do the butt pat.” 

“He told me he was wearing underwear.  I can’t believe he just lied to me like that.”

I laughed at his naivete.  “Why?  He was born to lie to you.  He does it nearly constantly.”

It’s true.  The boy has the face of an angel and is as likely to lie as budding felon.  Now he’s only five, so he’s a tremendously bad liar, but sometimes, as his father was this morning, we are too busy to get the 100 watt light bulb out and question him properly. 

You can be sure, before we left the house for Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s, the “butt pat” was performed.