OW!

You know how sometimes you feel like the universe is trying to tell you something?  I don’t know how My Honey feels, but right now, I’m feeling like the universe is hitting me over the head with a 2×4.

I’ve told you how from the very instant The Bandit approached Santa at Disneyland he told him how desperately he wanted a golden retriever.  Remember how I told you, even though Santa gave him no assurances, the boy is positive Santa told him yes. 

We just happened to be at the mall on Wednesday evening and, for probably the only time for the rest of the season, there was no line to see Santa.  Damn it if the boy didn’t go right up to this Santa and pick up the golden retriever conversation right where they left off.

The dogs are everywhere.  It’s like a conspiracy. 

We went to dinner tonight and afterwards walked across the parking lot to the bookstore.  As we approached the door, I felt an itch of panic.  I could see a tail wagging  through the glass in the double doors.  And then I remembered The Golden Retriever Rescue Organization is at this particular bookstore all the time. 

Before I could even get the warning out of my mouth, the door opened and there was a very happy, wiggling, tail wagging golden.

“You have got to be kidding!” my husband exclaimed.

“There are more in the children’s department,” the man holding the leash helpfully informed my gleeful children.

My Honey and I just stared at each other with our mouths hanging open.  Of course they’re camped out in the children’s section.  Where the hell else would they be?

I looked around the store a bit and my excited children towed their father to the children’s section.  After a few minutes of aimless wandering, I headed over to where all the giggling was coming from.

My son and daughter were rolling around on the floor with three of the sweetest goldens you’ve ever seen.  These three dogs were like the international ambassadors of lovely dogs you should bring home to lay at your feet and look up adoringly at you.  There is no glimmer of the insane dog that will inevitably come to live at my house.

I just don’t know what we’re going to do about this situation.  I’m beginning to feel cornered by the universe.