I’d say it was a victory all around

I can finally tell you what’s been going on with me for the last several weeks.  Besides, all the Tucson Festival of Books stuff and writing book 2, and writing all the interviews to post on the examiner.com site, I’ve been planning a surprise birthday party for My Honey.  He turns 40 this week and claimed he’d not had a birthday party since he was a kid.  He is a much quieter individual than me.  I’ve had a zillion birthday parties since I was a kid.  I have required them.  I’m noisy about it.  My philosophy is, if you want presents, and who doesn’t, one must demand them.  I constantly put myself if a position to get presents.  Don’t I sound mercenary? 

My fortieth birthday was a huge to-do, and I wanted something great for him as well.  I thought I might be able to pull off a surprise party so I began the undertaking.  Sassy was very adamant about wanting to throw him a party of some sort, and I figured since she was seven now and seemingly able to keep a secret, I let her in on the deal and allowed her to help with the planning.  She was under strict rules not to breathe even a word of it to The Bandit.  That little dude can’t keep a secret from here to the end of this sentence. 

All seemed to go well.  Sassy was full of ideas, some good, some totally insane, but she was having fun planning.  I contacted the singer from My Honey’s band to help me gather the musicians I wouldn’t know to invite and his best friend to call all the old friends I wouldn’t know how to contact.  I went through his cell phone in the dark of the night to get all the phone numbers of his co-workers.  It was creepy, but I vowed to apologize after the party.  Family was all invited.  Ava promised the cake and I was delighted for her to do it.  I found her a Fender bass guitar picture on the Internet to use as a pattern.  We had to look all over town to find the black licorice shoestrings to use as the guitar strings and she found silver gumballs to use as knobs.  It was absolutely fantastic as you can see – and it tasted every bit as good as it looked.

Sassy struggled with the secret.  And I felt for her.  It was hard for me, too. There had been some talk of having a small party this next weekend, but everyone let the idea sort of fall apart.  Everyone except My Honey.  He kept bringing it up and I felt so bad acting like we were all too busy to have a party for him.  He would just sort of sigh and walk away all defeated.  It was horrible. 

He’d been working on our back fence all day and, an hour before the party, he decided he was going to Home Depot.  I kept myself calm as told him the kids and I would just wait for him at home and then we’d run to get something to eat.  Earlier in the day, Sassy had started getting wound up when we snuck away to pick up the decorations.  By the time we were changing clothes for the party her brother still didn’t know about, she was vibrating with tension.  She kept coming up with these elaborate plans to distract her father and I kept urging her to try and clam down and not make everything so complicated. 

In the car on the way to the party, there was a high-pitched noise coming from the back seat that sounded something like, “SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”  Her father asked her what her problem was and I told him she was crazy.  She blurted out several time, “My head is going to explode!”  I kept hissing for her to calm down and, because she’s such a spaz most of the time, her father honestly didn’t think anything about it was especially unusual. 

In the parking lot, My Honey noticed a friend’s car right away.  “Oh, hey, Deo’s here!” 

I tried to sound nonplussed about it while negotiating him through the parking lot and into the bar and to the special room. 

SURPRISE!

We totally got him.  The Bandit was just as surprised as he was.  Sassy did not explode.  A fabulous time was had by all.

And only one extra person had to sleep on my couch.