4 Right Turns

As you all know, Amylynn and I work for a large company.  We are beefing up security at our office and the “Protective Services Manager” stopped by to discuss our new security measures and other security tactics with us.  This started out funny because none of the new security equipment has been installed but the poor guy had to come out to talk about it anyway.  He kept saying things like “If the cameras were installed …” or “If the buzzer was here …” This left him  pantomiming in a hilarious fashion.

Anyway, sometimes someone will say something that I can’t forget and I’ll dwell on it for days.  During this meeting, the security guy told us that if you ever think you’re being followed – you should make four consecutive right turns.  Several people were nodding their heads as if they knew this fact.  Based on the group response, he did not need to elaborate.  Well, I have never heard that before.

After the meeting, I asked Amylynn if she knew that fact about the four right turns and she did.  So I asked her why that works. She asked if I was joking.  I assured her, I was not.  She told me that after four right hand turns you end up where you started.  Only a person following you would make four right hand turns.  Not taking any chances – she stared into my eyes to make sure I understood.  I did . . . but . . . than I started to think about it, which is never good.

Me – “Why can’t it be four left turns?”

Amylynn – “It can.”

Me – “Than why did he specify four RIGHT turns?”

Amylynn – “I have work to do.”

Which is an outrageous lie, neither one of us has any work to do.

At home later, I ran this by Ed.  He did not want to discuss it either. He felt it was knowledge I did not need since I hardly ever drive.  He felt it was information that only he and Amy needed because they are my primary mode of transportation.  That’s true enough but I was still concerned.

Me – “What happens if they are not hard right turns?  What if the road sort of curves to the right?  Does that count?  Is that number one?”

Ed – “You need Amy, call Amy.  Call her now.”

Me – “She doesn’t want to discuss it either.”

Ed – (thinking he’s mumbling) “Smart girl.”

Me – “I heard that!”

So here’s the funny part.  I was still thinking about this on Saturday while the Quill Sisters were shopping.  A man got angry at Kelli for not walking fast enough and started following us.  He was clearly crazy.  I’m from jersey so I can deal with crazy – right there in the middle of mall I made four right turns and the crazy man quickly found a bench to sit on and left us alone. 

Those four right turns work!!!!!