August 17

We’re bored and this Friday at work is like twelve hours long. Seriously, it’s like we entered a time warp or something. Kelli is so happy with her new job; we almost can’t listen to her anymore. Ava’s husband has also applied over there. Swear to Zeus, if he gets the job and starts spouting off all that happy unicorn and rainbow shit, we’re killing them both.  Another friend just got back from her three week honeymoon in Switzerland  and now we can barely talk to her, either. We’re seriously starting to run out of friends. Are we bitter? YES, we’re bitter. You would be too if you spent thirty-seven hours a day at Bank of No Forks with no pancakes or lovely Swiss people. It’s a good thing we have these five things to carry us through.

1. 1. To-go cups. When it’s 200 degrees outside and you’re not even sure you’re going to make it across the parking lot to your destination without spontaneously combusting, it’s nice to have a to go cup sweating rivulets down the outside. We especially love restaurants that offer this option without us having to look pitifully at them and act thirsty. In some places, you can even get a to-go cup in a bar. Now that’s too much for our state to permit – being we have those lax gun laws here. Fortunately, we’re quite content with our iced tea, thank you very much.  

2.     Thunder/Lightning. We’ve had some really excellent storms this monsoon. We love the rain – all desert dwellers are obsessed with rain, well water of any kind, actually – but the best part of the storms are the thunder and lightning. We love the loud cracks of thunder when the lightning is so close you can almost smell the ozone burning in the air and your arm hairs stand up. But we especially love the thunder that starts far away and rolls and rolls across the sky. The kind of thunder that happens when you can count to almost twenty

Oh yea! This is an epic turban

after the lightning strike before you hear it start up. There is nothing more relaxing than laying in bed in the darkness hearing the rain pound the earth in a steady staccato and the thunder bounce off the mountains all around you. Bliss.

3.     Sikh turbans. The Sikh’s are in the news quite a bit lately. Unfortunately, none of it good. But, since they’re prominent right now, it’s given us an opportunity to familiarize ourselves with the religion. Up to now, we were regrettably ignorant on Sikhism in general and understood a bunch of misinformation. The Sisters are fascinated by religions – especially the more obscure and ritualized ones. You can recognize the Sikhs by the turbans they wear. We also understand they get to carry ceremonial daggers, but the real bonus is the turbans. They can be all kinds of colors, not just boring ole white, and some of these people are really rocking the turban. In fact, if we convert, we’re getting out our Bedazzler and going to town.

4.     Scrabble Cheating Part 2. We’ve written about Scrabble cheaters before. Apparently this guy didn’t learn anything from the misfortune of the previous guy. The Sisters have mixed feelings about Scrabble. On one hand, we like the idea of Scrabble but Amylynn really hates losing and she does that a lot in Scrabble. Ava cheats. Also she’s mean when she plays. The cheating incident last October was funnier than this most recent one because it was really over the top. This story was a bit sad, however, Amylynn has read all about it, not as a news story, but as a primer for cheating. Really, she needs all the help she can get.

5.     Reincarnation. Again with the religion this week. We don’t know how the Sikhs feel about reincarnation but if it happens, this is what we want to come back as.