Grab your toilet paper and come with me.

This is some serious eye makeup

I showed you the picture yesterday of Sassy and the Bandit’s Halloween costumes. Bandit was covered all over with green Hulk paint which was a remarkably easy cleanup. A run through the shower and he was good. Sassy on the other hand only wore some eyeliner to look more pirate-y.

You’d think that would be pretty easy clean-up, eh? Not if Sassy is involved, I can assure you.

I gave her some gentle Clinique eye make-up remover and a cotton ball. That’s when the screaming began. I stuck my head of the bathroom door and rolled my eyes at My Honey sitting down the hall.

“What the hell is that?” he asked.

I told him she was having a bit of an over reaction, certainly nothing unheard of coming from her.

“I don’t think Nikki Sixx or Tommy Lee ever acted like that and I’m certain they got plenty of eyeliner in their eyes during the ’80s,” he noted.

“Right?” I shook my head. She sounded like I’d given her acetone instead of gentle remover. The good news is, she wasn’t blinded for life.

Afterwards I did what every single parent in America did last night. I went through their candy bags for the good stuff. If you ask me, no child ever needs a Butterfinger. I tell my kids they’re poison.

Anyway, I found this in The Bandit’s bag.  Granola Thins? Really? Who the hell gives Granola Thins out for Halloween? You’re not going to fool me with that “dark chocolate and peanut butter” bull shit.

I say this calls for vigilante justice. Who’s up for a good TPing? I’m pretty sure that house has tall trees.