November 2

Can you believe it’s November already? Us neither. We’ve made it through Hurricane Sandy with nary a breeze but many people we know weren’t so lucky. We’re drinking a toast to all the people who don’t have toast glasses anymore, or electricity to make the ice for the margaritas, or a bed to pass out in afterwards. It’s really awful and not funny at all and we watch the news in horror. But still, if you don’t laugh what else have you got? Won’t you join us in a chuckle over these five things. We did find some Sandy stuff amusing and we hope you agree.

1. Gov Chris Christie. We admit to being fascinated by Mr. Christie and we’d really like him to slim down a bit so we don’t have to worry about him so much. Just before Sandy made landfall in NJ he was on the news telling his fellow New Jersey-ians that they didn’t need to be on the beach taking pictures of the thirty foot waves. “I’m talking to you!” he said. We love that Christie knows his constituents so well cause don’t you know the very next story is showing twenty Jersey boys standing on the beach. Sigh. Some people you just can’t help.

2. Storm Coverage. News reporting has become, shall we say, a bit dumbed down these days. Still, this is the same country where they have to tell you not to blow dry your hair in the bathtub. We like to look at it as thinning the herd. While much of the news films were mouth droppingly awful, some provoked more than a chuckle. One of our favorites showed water gushing into one of the tunnels to NYC. Gushing may not even properly convey the amount of water we’re talking about here and the speed in which it was traveling. It was epic. Still at the bottom of the picture needlessly scrolled, “Tunnel Closed.” Just in case some of the Jersey boys wanted to pop on over, we guess.

3. Star Wars. Disney bought Lucasfilm Ltd for 4.05 billion dollars. Disney is promising more Star Wars movies and that excites the hell out of us. Mr. Bright is acting like he won’t go see them, like he’s some sort of Lucas Purist or some bullshit like that. He’s mistaken. Not only will he see it, but it’ll be opening weekend at a 3-D theater. We were considering standing in line now with the rest of the nerds until we found out it’s not supposed to open until 2015. Yeah, we have stuff to do, but know that we’re VERY EXCITED.  And if anyone wants our opinion, we vote for Quintin Tarrentino to direct!

4. Haunted Mansion. In more Disney related news, someone has built an exact replica of the Haunted Mansion near Atlanta and is auctioning it off on Ebay. It’s 10,000 sq. feet and has 7 bedrooms. There’s a two story library! And is ready for elevator installation. We want this house. We want it bad. So far, the highest bidder is $873,000. If you all want to kick in we can use it like a timeshare. What do you think? Pretty please?

5. Thrice. The word of the week is “thrice”. We had a run in with a very….let’s go with insane, insane customer at Bank of No Forks this week. This person was in no way amusing, more along the lines of really freaking disturbing. Still, when we started digging around in all his stuff we found a letter where he used the word “thrice”. “As I have informed you thrice.” HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha. That’s good stuff right there.