The point system
This was sent by one of the authors in the writer’s group in which the Quill Sister’s belong. I’ve seen it before, but I thought I’d post it with a few comments as pertains to the Sisters. I’ve made comments in red.
You make the bed (+1)You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) And a cat. There’s probably a cat under there too.You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It’s her pet (-20) Should this happen we suggest you just get the car and leave
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80) See if she’ll give you a ride home, too.
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3) All you can eat dessert? That would be fine.
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called ‘Death Cop’ (-3) We might consider this one. Who’s in it?
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) Is this going to try to make us cry? If so, we’re totally out.
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000) Now it doesn’t matter how many points you have because you’re dead.
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) OMG – this is so true. Sorry to say, but it is.
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000) Which explains why you haven’t said anything stupid in the last 30 minutes.
How many points would a man get for retrieving the lawn furniture that had been blown into the swimming pool this week by the wicked winds? Because I had to do it my freaking self. I think it’s an automatic deduction for me, since I did it myself without finding a man to do it.