February 1

Boy, getting Amylynn to concentrate on anything these day’s is a struggle. What she’d really like is to hole herself up in a hotel somewhere to get all her immediate writing done, but that’s not in the cards. Not only will her family and Sisters not allow her to hide out like that, she can’t focus since her novella, The Sea Rose, went up for sale on Amazon this week. Her first novel goes up next week and we’ll have to keep a close eye on her or she’s liable to wander off in a daze into traffic or something. If you find her roaming loose and babbling excitedly, point her in the direction of home. And for Zeus’s sake, don’t let her have any cake no matter how nicely she asks. She is NOT allowed cake. NOT. It’s a good thing Ava is a stalwart

He looks a bit worried.

dieter …hahahahaha – we can’t even finish that sentence. Here’s some funny stuff.

1. Prince Charles on public transportation. Prince Charles and Camilla took the London ‘tube’ on Wednesday for the first time in twenty-five years. The best part was they only rode the length of one stop. What was that – nineteen seconds? We wonder how that went. Did he touch the handrails? Do you supposed he sat on the bench seat with the rest of the rabble or did he hang on to the pole? Did Camilla wear one of those ridiculous hats? If so, we hope it had ostrich feathers because nothing screams I Ride the Tube like a Commoner like ostrich feathers. 

2. Zimbabwe. The African country is in serious financial jeopardy. Do you remember a while back we were considering buying Greece? We never managed to get around to that because we’re very busy planning animal smuggling and trying to get Hillary Clinton on the phone. It’s probably good because now there’s Zimbabwe. The country has $216.00 in the bank. If we have 217.00 in hard cash, we’ll bet we could own that place by noon tomorrow. Amylynn is a notary and everything. We’ll put Ed in as the Minister of Finance and he’ll have that

place whipped into shape in no time. My Honey will be in charge of air conditioning because we suspect we’re
going to need a LOT of that over in Africa. When we have the coronation, we’re going to invite China and strongly suggest if they want good foreign relations they ought to bring a panda or six with him.

3. Si’s Wife. We’ve talked quite a bit about Duck Dynasty and our crushes on Jase – the middle brother. We haven’t mentioned Si before. We love Si – NOT in the same way we love Jase. That’s simply not happening. Si is an old, skinny guy with a streak of buffoonery and a truly hysterical sense of humor. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is outrageous, but he is not handsome. At all. We’ve seen photographic proof that he was once quite cute, but not these days. So how surprised were we when we found out he’s married. To a woman. We’re seriously dying to see her. We want to know what kind of a woman puts up with his ridiculousness. She’s probably a saint.

4. Dear Abby. The other day a woman wrote in to ask if it’s OK for your husband to have sex with you when you’re sleeping or if that’s abuse. After we dried the tears from our eyes and were able to talk about this, we came up with quite a litany of things to consider. Just exactly how hard are you sleeping? If you’re sleeping through it, perhaps he’s not doing it right. Or perhaps he’s so small you just don’t notice and in that case, he needs a nice pat on the head and a cookie or something. All we know for sure is that if that happened at the Louis/Bright house it would only happen once.

5. Tiffany. The Tiffany Valentines catalog came out. We found a couple of things we’d like. Ed and My Honey weren’t really receptive to our suggestions. Please go buy Amylynn’s books so we can use the royalties to buy this. We’ll share custody.