February 22

It’s entirely possible Amylynn has lost her mind. Ava’s no help at all, either. Mostly she just rolls her eyes and says things like, “OMG – is that a spread sheet?” or “Are you trolling Amazon AGAIN?” Nevertheless, we spent a lot of time giggling. We do that. It’s either that or we kill people. I think we can
all agree that we don’t want option #2. Unless, you happen to know someone who really, really deserves Option #2, then we might be persuaded. Here are the five things this week.

1. All the alcohol. Maker’s Mark freaked everyone out last week when they had a press conference and informed the drunks of the world that they were lowering the alcohol percentage of their bourbon. Apparently, it was a gasp heard around the world and they quickly recanted. Look, after a long day at Bank of No Forks or with your kids or whatever, sometimes you really need your 90 proof.

2. Extreme Over reactions. The Belarus Supreme Court convicted a guard to two years for allowing a light plane across the border. Said plane was loaded with hundreds of teddy bears wearing parachutes and human rights slogans which were dropped over the city. Can you imagine walking along the streets of Belarus only to see a crap load of Swedish teddy bears bombing your city. At the very least, it gives you something to talk about at dinner while you gulped down your Maker’s Mark.  (Ava had no idea Belarus was a country, she thought it was a city in eastern Europe but no, Amy is insistent that’s its a country.)

3. Men are so dumb. A Texas couple decided to have another child. We guess their two year old was lonely, so the wife went and got herself knocked up. They told her she was having twins. OK, that’s a bit intimidating

but not insurmountable. THEN, they informed her she had managed to spontaneously conceive TWO sets of identical twins. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s quadruplets. Four. Four babies, not two. There was no fertility assistance, drugs, or doctors involved in any way. There’s like a 1 in 70 million chance of that happening. Momma managed to have four healthy baby boys named Ace, Blaine, Cash and Dylan to join their brother, Memphis. Did you catch that – A,B,C & D. Where does the dumb man part come into the story, you ask. When interviewed,

the husband/daddy/idiot actually said, out loud, that they’re going to keep trying for a girl. You just know those boys inherited that stupid gene from their father. God help that poor woman.

4. Grand niece. It’s the week of babies!  Ava’s first grand niece was born on the 21^st and weighed a perfect 7.1 lbs and was 20 inches.  Her name is Harper Paisley and look how adorable she is!!!  Deep dark secret alert – Ava is afraid of all babies under 12 months.  You will never find her holding one, not even this cutey but she does like to admire them from afar.  Per Ava; “No one likes

If they’re good enough for LL….

if you break their baby, in fact, they never forgive you.”

5. Chakalates. Chaka Kahn has her own chocolates. It looks exactly like her hair. We’re sure you can imagine how tasty that must be. Do you supposed she woke up one morning with a driving need for her own food line. She probably leapt from her bed, looked in the mirror and said, “EUREKA! CHOCOLATES!” Often when famous people do this sort of nonsense, the Sister wonder where their people are. You know, the people who furrow their brow, shake their heads gently and say, “hmmmmm, well…maybe not.”