This, my friends, is why we need a cat at work

I’m back at work today, gimping around like I’m 97 years old. Although, it is fun to talk about in front of Ava because she gets all nauseous.

On Tuesdays I work the late shift at work. Yes, Bank of No Forks has a late shift. It is exactly as ridiculous as you think it is. The late shift equates to 11-8pm, but we all voted and we come in at 12pm and don’t take a lunch. I love the coming in late part because I get up with the kids and get them ready for school. I actually drive them there in my pajamas. Yes, I’m that mom. The minute I get home, I throw my keys on the bench and walk directly back to bed. I do not pass go. I do not collect $200. I do not talk to the cat. I literally fall back into bed and get up again around 10:45. It’s beautiful.

The late shift is great when you’re me because the phone rings exactly zero times from 6-8 and there are no customers either. That means I can get tons of work done on my manuscripts or whatever other writery stuff needs to get done.

Except today.

People from corporate have been here all week and will be again tomorrow. That means no cat. It also means I can’t unpack my personal computer to work on stuff here either.

I thought there’d be no problem though once he left. Surely, the man would leave at 5 o’clock like a normal corporate person, right? Yeah, no. Ava left. I’d like that noted. It wasn’t even 5:30 when she sprinted for the door.  Ava here: in my defense, I had to run to a pharmacy that was closing by 6:00PM and I really thought the corporate person would go running out the second I left the parking lot – corporate people are like that.  Oh, and it was actually 5:34PM when I left.

At least he finally stopped talking to me. That was AWFUL. I make it a point to avoid corporate people like they have leprosy. I’m not a suck up and can never keep my mouth shut when things bother me and, believe me, there are bountiful things for me to complain about at Bank of No Forks.  Ava again: the corporate person mentioned a restaurant he was planning on eating at based on a friend’s recommendation.  The restaurant used to be fine but has gone seriously down hill in recent years.  Amy mentioned this to the corporate person and he didnt seem to care and insisted he was going with his friend’s recommendation.  Amy said “Fine, eat there.”  The look on her face said “You’re an idiot.”

There is no way I can get my own laptop open on my desk without him noticing. For Zeus’s sake I couldn’t even read the paper today.

I’d like it noted that at the writing of this blog, it’s 7:44 and he’s still here. Sitting directly across from me. He’s not even on the phone, just working on his computer like he can’t do that in the hotel.

I’m telling you that I’m leaving at 8PM on the dot. I will turn the lights off and lock the door even if his ass is still sitting at that desk. He may have to wash up in the kitchen and pee in the sink cause I’m the only one with a key.

Ava: this entire two hours consisted of Amy texting me every five minutes to let me know he was s t i l l  there.  Thank goodness she doesn’t carry . . .

ARRRRGGGGGGG!