NEW RELEASES
In Our Humble Opinion…wind is unacceptable. Enough already.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . allergy season needs to last a season, not all year.
A live version of this blog
Besides being the co-chair of the romance committee, I will be speaking on a panel just like Kelli. Her’s is about cover art and promises to be quite amusing. I’ve seen some of the slides from her presentation and they’re great.
My talk is on Sunday at 11:30 at the Integrated Learning Center room 137. My co-panelists are NY Times best-selling authors Rachel Gibson and Karen Hawkins. Come to my talk, have some lunch, then pop back over to Kelli’s at 1pm. It’s like I planned this for your convenience.
I’ve been really scared about the panel for a number of reasons.
1) I don’t like public speaking. My problem isn’t that I can’t speak in public, rather I can’t shut up. As soon as I’m nervous, bad things happen. Granted, it’s funny for the spectators, awful for me.
2) I don’t feel like I can really speak about writing with NY Times best sellers. I haven’t sold anything like what they have.
However – all those things being said, the name of my panel is You Had Me at Funny: Using Humor to Advance Plot is definitely something I can write about. But still, I had reservations. What was I going to say? What?
Karen sent some questions for us to think about that might move us in the right direction. One of them was, why do you write humor?
Then today happened. Today is such a ridiculous example of my life that I can’t wait to tell you about it. Just not today. I gave my schtick to Kelli over the phone and she was laughing away then said, “To bad you can’t use that at your talk.”
Seriously. I’m using the whole thing – nearly word for word – because it’s nonsense like this that makes me write comedy.
If not comedy, then Greek tragedy. It’s all in the perspective. Fortunately, my glass is generally half full of carbonated water.
Come to the talk on Sunday and hear the story live – with visual aids. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait till next week.
Trust me, it’s a doozy.
In Our Humble Opinion…all the nonsense just needs to stop right now.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . it’s best not to put a garden gnome in your front yard and we bet you know why.
It’s a great reason to get my car detailed
The Festival of Books is this weekend. At this point, I just can’t wait for it to be over. We’ve worked so hard putting the
festival together this year, taken so much unnecessary bullshit, and written and answered so many emails my tendonitis is out of control.
We have a bunch of fabulous authors coming: Iris Johansen, Rachel Gibson, Cynthia Garner, Zoe Archer, Karen Hawkins, Angela Knight, Jenna Petersen/Jesse Petersen, Brenda Novak and Lauren Willig to name but a few. I’m even speaking on a panel with Rachel and Karen about using humor to advance a plot.
Wanna hear something stupid? I’m totally freaked out about that panel. I feel like I don’t have anything to say about writing funny. Haven’t I told you before that writers are the most insecure people EVER.
I do have a soft spot for this Festival. After all, it was at the 2010 festival where I met my literary agent. The next year the Sisters met Julia Quinn. Julia – freaking – Quinn. When it comes right down to it, the absolute best part of the Festival is ferrying people to and from the airport and to the festival and the hotel. That’s where you get to know them and have actual conversations.
I’ve been emailing back and forth with the out-of-town authors about picking them up at the airport. For many, this is their first visit to our town. I was talking with the agent for Iris Johansen and he wanted to know if I would meet her at the baggage claim or somewhere else. My response was that we didn’t like to call our airport dinky. We prefer quaint. I promised to meet her at the bottom of the escalator. He still seemed a bit concerned. I assured him I’d be the short red-head at the bottom of the ony escalator between the only baggage carousals.
There is still a bunch of work to be done but it’s finally over in a week.
My New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to stop volunteering for stuff.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . you shouldn’t need your left turn signal if you are in the left turn only lane . . . or don’t they get that in Albuquerque?
In Our Humble Opinion . . . automatic lawn sprinklers should give fair warning with enough time to get the hell out of the way.
In Our Humble Opinion . . . assisted living facilities sound like the perfect place to live since the Quill Sisters always need some kind of help.
Do you suppose she used deep conditioner, too?
Ava is in Albuquerque again. By herself. Without me to take care of her. Or drive her around.
I know you’re all thinking that Ava is a grown woman and she can take care of herself and that would be true. But she doesn’t want to. And can you blame her really? If I was around to make sure you got to where you needed to be and such, wouldn’t you prefer that?
So she’s in Albuquerque pissing and moaning and Kelli and I are here pissing and moaning. We’re not all pissing and moaning about the same things, so you can see it’s much better if we’re not separated because then we piss and moan to each other and leave other people out of it.
It’s really best for all involved – humanity as a whole – if we just stay together.
This was the text I got from her on Monday:
Just so you can laugh at my expense, somehow I didn’t bring enough underwear and I’m washing it in the sink with volumizing shampoo.
So after I fell off my chair laughing and then picked myself back up, I texted back that it didn’t seem like the best plan. “Wouldn’t that make your panties bigger?” I wondered.
I guess that choice is better than say curling shampoo. Honestly, that could get painful
So today this same general theme continued and she trickled a bit more information about her misfortune.
I used my comb in the water as an agitator like the washing machine.
I didn’t fall down this time, only choked on my ice tea.
Why doesn’t she just take the rental car to Target to get new drawers, you say? You already know the answer, if you think hard enough it will come to you.
It’s because I’m not there to drive her. Sigh.