This was on one of my favorite blogs this morning.  Knowing Bandit the way I do, I would do well to heed this information.

CLEVER WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS UP TO SOMETHING

*  You ask him if he’s up to something, he replies “Yes.”
*  You ask him if he’s up to something, he replies “No.”
*  You come home and he’s got on CNN.
*  He asks if he can go to the library.
*  He’s nice to his sister.
*  He asks “Where do we keep the super glue?”
*  He makes his bed without being asked.
*  He’s breathing.

What do you think?

Sassy had a half day at school and it was my day off so when I picked her up at school and we spent the afternoon together.  We actually had a lot of fun with very little bickering.  It was lovely.

We stopped off at a bakery next to the Sprint store (my phone is having a few issues that I have chosen to ignore at this point) and got a treat.  This bakery attracted me because they have gorgeous cakes in the window.

There was a red velvet cupcake in the case that called my name.  I could hear it all the way from the sidewalk.  The decoration was so pretty – it even had iridescent glitter on it.  But, I can’t even properly put into words how disappointing this cupcake was.  Dry.  Tasteless.  And absolutely lovely. 

Truly it was a shame.  I will not be ordering a cake from there – ever.  The decorations might be exquisite, but the cake is vital.

Still the # 1 red velvet cupcake stands as Barnes & Noble as shipped in by The Cheesecake Factory.

Well, Faithful Readers, my nervous breakdown is right on schedule.

We’ve been having some issues with my first novella, Out of Heaven.  The issues are not with me, in fact, other than my frequent freaking out episodes that my publisher DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT, I’m sure I’m a dream to work with.  By the time I call my publisher with my issues, I’ve got myself firmly under control and I’m able to make a coherent argument that doesn’t require me to be laying on the floor in the produce department of the grocery store. 

However, a rather lovely and charming new collaborator has entered the picture and has set everything back a good two weeks.  I firmly believe that she will be my saviour and bring back some professionalism to my experience and make everything better than ever.

Dear God in Heaven (the God of editors and Long Island Iced Teas).

Don’t ask me when my book is due out.  My answer for you is: eventually.  I hope: sooner rather than later.  But truthfully: I don’t know.

Deep aggravated and beleaguered sigh.

I’m writing another novella.  Kelli has committed us – or challenged me – or whatever – to having 5 novellas available by the end of September.

This time it’s a knight and fair maiden story.  It’s been rolling around in my head for a while.  I had to write some notes about it and set it aside because Ava expressly forbid me from writing it when it first occurred to me.  But that was way back when…..

I’m trying to figure out the political intrigue part of it and then make sure I can fit it all in with the actual history of the time and space.  Sounds like an opportunity for more research.  I really love the research – it’s an opportunity to justify buying more books.

ALSO – I created a book trailer for Out of Heaven.  As soon as I can figure out how to embed it I’ll post it here.

This being Easter and the season of dyed eggs and fanciful stories, I will tell you all a true one.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in a small cottage in the desert.  He was a pesky child that often got himself in trouble with his mischievous ways. 

Soon the irises in the front of the cottage began to bloom signaling the start of spring, and thus the coming of egg dying season.  His mother, being the kind of mother that enjoyed participating in the fun rituals of the season, went to the store and got a dying kit.

The kit sat on the counter of the little kitchen in the little cottage awaiting the day they would dye the eggs. 

After about two days, the little boy couldn’t take the curiosity anymore and he tore into the colorful packaging.  The mother found the empty wrappings from the little colored dye pellets scattered about on the floor.

“Bandit,” she asked the boy, “Did you tear up this box?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” he told her.  Why had she expected any other answer?

“Where are all the pieces that were in here?”  She waved the tortured box at him.

“You mean the little candies?  I ate them,” he said with a nonchalant hug.

That’s when the lovely and patient mother had to call the day care to explain the rainbow pee.

This year, The Idiot Dog ate the box with the dye in it. 

My Honey expects to see a leprechaun in the backyard looking for his little pot of gold – there’s rainbow colored crap everywhere.

Yesterday was ……..interesting.

1. I rolled my arm up in the window of a Toyota Tundra.  I have a huge bruise.  This is also not the first time I’ve done this.  Clearly I will never learn.

2. The kiddies spent the night at Grandma’s for the 1st Annual Cousin Sleep Over.  I suggested it be made quarterly.  Anyway, My Honey and I went to see a grown up movie – The Clash of the Titans.  I liked it better than he did. After the movie we went to the dreaded Walmart.  I regret that I even had to write those 7 letters.  But it’s the only place open to get the Easter stuff we needed.  I’m telling you, if vampires existed, they would all be at the Walmart.  The girl checking us out felt compelled to comment on every single item.  I wasn’t in the mood.  Who would be?  My Honey was actually concerned that he might have to attack her.  Walmart apparently brings out bad things in the both of us.

3.  The Bandit and his father were picking up his room before bed.  My Honey noticed a bunch of comic books on the floor that were all cut apart.

“Why did you cut up your comic books?” he asked Bandit.

The boy looked him right in the eye and said, “Dad, sometimes four year olds just don’t know any better.”

Touche, little man, touche.

The Sea Rose was picked up by my publisher today.  For those of you keeping score at home…..that’s two novellas I have published.

This one is in its infancy as far as publishing.  It’s not seen an editor yet or anything so it’ll be a couple of months down the road.

When Roselyn’s ship goes down in a terrible storm she’s sure she’ll never see her fiance again.  When she regains consciousness she finds herself on the pirate ship, Neptune’s Revenge, and in the bed of famous pirate Handsome Jack.  By the time they arrive in the pirate capital of Nassau, will her minister fiance still want her?  Will Jack even let her go?

This week has been full of upheaval and, because of that, emotionally draining.  My father had a stroke on Saturday – he’s doing well, thankfully.  He’ll have surgery on Monday for a blocked carotid artery.  But it’s heart wrenching to watch him eat or try to write – he’s left handed and the use of that side of his body is severely limited right now.

The whole event brings up all kinds of emotions and all of a sudden you feel like a little kid again.  My sister, Ava, and her husband just went through this, so I’m sure they understand what I mean.  I don’t really like it.  I don’t want to have to act responsible and adult.  I just want to put my head in the sand and pretend that all is normal.  Unfortunately, that’s not realistic and my very nature won’t allow me to do that.  My coping mechanism is to make myself useful, and so I do that. 

I’m still refusing to allow myself to get mushy over it – in fact, lets change the subject right now.

A little levity would be good.

Yesterday, Sassy and I had a disagreement.  It was loud.  The fact that we had a loud disagreement should in no way be considered abnormal for us.  We’re a loud family.  If you have any doubt, ask Kelli and Ava what it’s like when they call my house.

I sent Sassy to her room where she proceeded to rail against the world in her usual dramatic way.  There were many tears and slamming of doors.

Then she walked out and announced to the world in general, “ALL I WANT IS A DIFFERENT LIFE AND I’M NEVER GONNA GET IT!!”

I’m sure I bruised her psyche even more when I laughed.  For God’s sake how old is she anyway – 37?  No.  She is six years old.  How bad could her life really be?

I can’t hardly wait until she turns 13.  It’s gonna be a laugh riot.

It’s 12:08 on Saturday night or Sunday morning……I don’t consider it morning until there is a hint of sun in the east.  Dark = night.

Anyway, I just sent my approvals from the proofreader to my editor.  Now it goes to get formatted.

Kelli and I have been throwing around ideas for advertising our releases…….

What that means to you, dear faithful readers, is that I’d love to get contact information from you so you can receive our little goodies.

Shoot me an email with your info: name, snail mail address, and email address and we’ll sign you up.

I swear on a stack of holy books (Martha Stewart Cupcake recipes) that your information will not be used for nefarious purposes – just for our promotion and free give-a-ways, etc.

Come on! It’ll be fun!  amylynnbright@thequillsisters.com

You just never know what might show up in your mail box!