Usually, the Sisters inform you of movies NOT to see, like this one and this one. Honestly, just don’t waste your time with either unless you desperately want to prove that we’re right. We are. We’re always right.

This time I’m going to tell you about a great show you probably don’t know about. Peaky Blinders. I was alerted to this show by our fabulous hairdresser, Jackie. She always wants to know what we’re watching, and she’s had some great suggestions for us on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon.

So, now that I’m unemployed (do you know of any jobs?) it seems I’m busier than ever, but I’ve been carving out time to watch this show. If I hurry and write a chapter then I can go watch an episode. It’s sorta working, except that I’m a cheater.

If you enjoyed Boardwalk Empire, or even just the idea of Boardwalk, this is the show for you. It’s a BBC show they’ve put on Netflix. It stars Cillian (pronounced with a hard K instead of a soft C – like Killian) Murphy and Sam Neil. You have to pay attention because it’s about an Irish gang in the early 1900’s in Birmingham, England so the accents are thick, but they sure sound pretty.

It’s broody, and stylish, and pretty to watch even when it’s grungy and filthy and bloody. It’s bloody a lot. And brutal. The most interesting part to me is that it’s about a real gang who were apparently bloody and brutal for real.

Here’s the piece de resistance.

Jackie didn’t even know when she referred this show to me that I am the biggest Tom Hardy fan. He’s a part of Season 2 and he’s amazing. He’ll scare the hell out of you.

If you’re watching, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? What’s you’re opinion on Cillian? He’s very pretty, eh? Jackie the Hairdresser has the hots for him and we can see why. His face is magnificently sculpted, but we’re pretty sold on Tom.

The Shepherds! The Shepherds! Or maybe the dog wearing the wig.

Christmas is over. All of our money has been spent. The wrapping has been decimated and the boxes torn into. For a while there it looked like our houses had been ransacked by very destructive Huns. Also, we’re checking into rehab for our cats. Every year they get some catnip for Christmas and every year we forget they aren’t to be trusted to know when enough is enough. Let’s just say that moderation is not something they’re familiar with. Even the dogs were disturbed by their antics. But all in all, it was a nice holiday. Now we just need to get our houses back in order. You read these funny things while we dig out the coffee table.

1. Nibbley goats. This news story couldn’t be more timely. Since we didn’t get the puppy we were hoping for this year we’re going to renew our desire for a baby goat. There’s a group of goat owners in Reno, Nevada who are promoting their goats to eat your retired Christmas tree. They tested out their theory that the goats would eat the trees by tossing a piece of pine tree to them in the yard. They devoured it–needles and all. Apparently, the needles and such are full of vitamin C and is a natural dewormer so they’re healthy for the little dudes. This is just one more reason why we need one. Attention Misters Bright – let’s think of the year 2015 as the one we get a goat.

2. Gluttons. Every once in a while we present to you a story where men humiliate themselves in a misguided attempt at glory. Usually these stories end up with our “hero” in a hospital or a morgue. Fortunately for the women who inexplicably love this latest fellow, he only ended up in the ER and later spent three days in the hospital. What bit of brilliance did the guy attempt, you ask? He was at an office Christmas party when he engaged in an eggnog chugging contest. He managed a quart of the stuff in 12 seconds. He accomplished this feat with such wild abandon that he inhaled some into his lungs. Hours later he was driven to the hospital shaking and struggling to breath. Personally, we despise eggnog and for that reason–and our X chromosomes–we would not participate in such debauchery.

3. Presents from Pele. Good news. The lava flow from the erupting volcano stopped just short of Pahoa Marketplace with only 700 yards to spare. We suspect Santa intervened. Why else would the shopping center be saved? Why? Can you imagine what it must be like, for whatever reason you don’t have your shopping finished and your only option is the Pahoa Marketplace shopping center but THERE’S LAVA ADVANCING. All we can say, Hawaii, is don’t procrastinate your shopping. That’s a level of stress nobody needs.

4. KFC? Really? So Christmas is barely celebrated in Japan. When we say barely, we mean like 1% of the population is Christian. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy some retail celebration. Any excuse, right? The country has been creating their own traditions since the end of World War II when the Christmas Cake came into existence. Wait, what? We like cake. Maybe we’re in. What else do they have going on? Obviously if you have Christmas Cake then you need to have Christmas Dinner, right? Well, the Kentucky Fried Chicken people have pulled off a coup of epic proportions. They’ve managed to convince the population of Japan that they are the most celebrated purveyors of this meal which includes fried chicken, a salad, and the aforementioned Christmas cake. People wait for hours on line for this “delicacy.” We think this is most fitting since Ava’s family always eats Chinese food on Christmas day.

5. Yay, 1st Amendment! We don’t really long to see The Interview. Nope, not even a little bit. If we see it at all, it’ll be because our teenagers insist upon it. They can’t help themselves. Seth Rogan is right in their wheel house. Nevertheless, we’re very glad it’s being released after all this hacking and threats nonsense. We strongly believe in free speech–even if James Franco is involved, we’re writers after all. We just hope he can control himself for the sake of humanity.

From the Quill Sisters and Simon’s Cat

Santa loves himself some puppies and kittens. Amylynn loves puppies. Ava loves kittens. EVERYONE loves puppies and kittens.

Amylynn is still holding out for a puppy for Christmas. Everyone cross your crossables.

It’s probably a good thing for the local merchants that the Sisters have been split up this year for holiday shopping. Ava is especially hostile since she now works at a job that requires timely attendance – not that her hostility extends to Amy who is wandering the earth having a grand time and writing at will.  Not much anyway.

While Amy was upsetting the Lush employees with her reasonable gift budget, Ava was over at Costco standing on line

This is what Ava’s wallet looks like. Seriously.

at the exit so an idiot with a green marker coud look her over like a criminal, judge her purchases, and grunt at her that she could leave. Ava left more hostile than when she went in.

A little background here: Ava saves all receipts until she is certain she doesn’t neeed them. She never misplaces them or loses them. The second the cashier hands her the receipt, she folds it in half, and places it ithe receipt section of her

purse. Everytime she does it at Costco, Amy says “It’s like you’re an idiot.” Perhaps true.

Combining both our mottos!

However, it turns out Ava is not the only person annoyed by the receipt checking at Ccostco. Here is a quote from a like minded citizen –

“After checking out, I deliberately leave the receipt at the register. Sometimes the assistant to the checker will hurriedly bring it to me. I refuse it. This is an important step in the process of keeping the honor of free people everywhere.”

Now, Ava could never leave her receipt at the register, but she can certainly appreciate the honor of free people everywhere and applauds this reporter for standing up for the rest of us at Costco.

Vive la revolucion! And happy holiday shopping to all!

We had to go to the Costco – us and 75,000 other people. It was all alright, though, because there were samples.

Also, I saw Santa there.

Seriously.

Look.

He was right there with the Juice guy trying samples. I tried to be sly but that’s never been my forte.

He insisted I take a selfie with him. I NEVER willingly take pictures with people. Never.

But this was Santa. You don’t say no to Santa.

He informed me that I was a good girl. And that no I wasn’t getting a puppy.

I had just the smallest amount of shopping to take care of today. Little things to round out bigger things. One thing in particular was for my sister-in-law. I wanted a supplemental present for her. Something to bolster her other present.

Anyway, I thought I’d get her a gift box from Lush because I didn’t think she was familiar with the company. I learned about them through my other sister-in-law who got me an introductory box for my birthday. I fell in love. The place is expensive, but the name really describes the product–lush.

The Lush store in my town is in the luxury mall – the one with the hoity toity stores. I went up there today in my jeans and flannel shirt and walked into the store. There were no other shoppers but four clerks on duty. I had a moment of hesitation. I hate that feeling of entering a store with no other customers and too many staff. You always feel like a gazelle on the Serengeti.

The first lioness rushed me at the door. I explained what I was looking for and she assured me she had just the thing. She dragged me to a ginormous wrapped box.

“This has a fabulous sampling of all of our products,” she said and shoved some colored soap at my face. “Smell.”

I dodged the sample and eyed the jumble of products in the box. “Uh huh,” I said. “What’s the price of this one?” I knew it was way more than I was budgeting.

I turned the price tag around just as she said, without one hint of irony, “One hundred and seventy-nine.”

I guffawed. “OK. Dial that enthusiasm back about one hundred and fifty dollars.”

I mean I love my sister-in-law, but dear lord. The clerk wasn’t deterred. She towed me across the store to another decorative basket. While she babbled on with her pitch, I looked at the price. $75.99. The clerk grabbed my arm and slathered on some admittedly lovely smelling lotion. I let her rub it in to my skin while I shook my head that, no, I wasn’t purchasing that basket either.

We went down the aisles while she dusted me with fairy dust and thrust soap at my nose.

I did end up buying a basket–a very reasonably priced one. I did not get a smile from the clerk when I left. She seemed disappointed that I was so low rent.

Is everyone ready for the big day?

Have you managed to stuff all those stockings? Did you do it without spending $7M?

How about wrapping? Did you find dedicated Santa wrapping paper and manage to hide it in your Durango for a week even though your kids are snoopy, sneaky short people and seemed determined to foil all your best plots?

Did you do like me and go shopping with your son for something for his father, nice and early to avoid the rush, then hide it nice a safe place only to forget where the hell that is, and now you have to face the thundering horde at the mall for something else?

Have you wrapped a package in beautiful paper with a lovely handmade bow and everything, then when it was time to put the tag on it you can’t for the life of you remember what the hell it was that you wrapped or who it was for, forcing you to open the paper and start all over again?

Who else has started drinking?

We cannot believe that it’s less than a week until Christmas. We’re certain you’re all in the same boat. It just doesn’t seem possible, does it? This is our kids’ last day of school until they go back for the new year in January. There are two ways to look at this development. On one hand, those people are loud and constantly bicker regardless of how many times you remind them that Santa can see all their nonsense. On the other hand, there is one thing that will offset this. We won’t have to set an alarm clock for two weeks! Wahooooo! That’s the one unemployment benefit we haven’t been able to participate in – sleeping in and wearing pajamas all day. Amylynn’s kids are unreasonable with this, always wanting us to wear actual clothes to take them to school. **eyeroll** Here’s some funny stuff that happened this week.

1. Flying in China. We don’t know what’s going on over in China, but all of a sudden they’re showing up in our news feeds with all kinds of misbehaving while on airplanes. This isn’t even counting that crazy woman in Korea who was so awful. How about the three women who got in a brawl over one of the woman’s baby crying. Apparently, it screamed the entire flight. The passengers actually came to blows over this – the photos show them crawling over seat backs. It probably was more entertaining than the inflight movie anyway. The best part is that the captain threatened to “turn the plane around if things didn’t settle down back there.” Another man – on his very first flight EVER – got tired of waiting for the plane to take off so he opened the emergency exit door to get some fresh air into the cabin. There is some discrepancy if this caused the emergency slide to activate. Regardless, the cabin stewards lost their minds. All we can say is we’ve been on planes that sat on the tarmac for what felt like FOREVER and it would have been nice to have some fresh air. We feel for you, dude.

2. So many other options. You’ve probably heard by now that Sony is not going to release their movie staring Seth Rogan and James Franco called The Interview. There have been some unfounded threats by terrorists, and several theater companies refused to exhibit the picture. We’re not going to get into the whole “the terrorists have won” argument or any of that. If you want that, there are plenty of diatribes on the internet all about it. Go nuts if you feel so inclined. This isn’t one of those blogs. Instead, we want to offer up some other suggestions of movies that should also be pulled for a myriad of reasons. Anything by Adam

Artistic license taken with the dog in question

Sandler, for example. If there should be some insanity and The Expendables 4 is made. Also, as much as we adore Jared Leto, we have to admit that he frequently makes awful movie choices. (Ava whole heartedly disagrees with this. Jared is perfect in all ways.)

3. The dogs are trouble. Do you remember last week how that dog set his master’s house on fire? This week one of those loveable pooches shot his master in the arm with a rifle. Everyone is quick to point out how it was an accident and the man is not suffering life threatening injuries, but we think it would be prudent to keep an eye on the dogs for the time being. Cats seem to get all the attention for being sneaky, but all the evidence points to our canine “friends”. We’re just saying, perhaps we buy the expensive food for a while and maybe a bone or two for Christmas until things settle down.

4. Everyday nice socks. This is a goal for all of us. Wear “everyday nice socks”. Our friend Pumpkin brought both the Sisters some “everyday nice socks” from South Korea. These particular “everyday nice socks” have Santa and Rudolph on them. Odd from Korea, you say? Pumpkin says they’re crazy about everything Christmas – they put up trees and everything. This makes us wonder what their “everyday nice socks” look like the other twelve months of the year.

5. Another mom who’s had enough. This is the best thing that’s happened on C-Span since, well, since forever. Brothers Danny (Republican) and Brad (Democrat) Woodhouse appeared on the news show. As you can imagine they were arguing since they have opposite political views and that’s what C-Span is all about. Apparently, their mother has had enough so she called in to the live show and told them to pipe down. Once they realize it’s their mom, one of them buries his face in his hands and groans, “Oh god, it’s Mom.” Our favorite part is when Mom said, “I’m hoping you’ll have some of this out of your system when you come here for Christmas. I would really like a peaceful Christmas.” Based on our experience, that won’t be likely. We’ve included the video below.